


Just one...

by KakushiMiko, MiniRaven



Category: Captain America (Movies), Durarara!!, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Blood and Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Mind Control, POV Steve Rogers, Pining, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Pre-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Supernatural Elements, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Hates Magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-07-15 01:24:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 34,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7199750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KakushiMiko/pseuds/KakushiMiko, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiniRaven/pseuds/MiniRaven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just one date was all it took for Tony to get himself in trouble. Just one monster in the darkness caused it all to go to hell. Just one cut, and the deed was done. Just one mistake was all it took for what remained to come crashing down.</p>
<p>Tony had been acting distant as of late. And while Steve wanted to be respectful and give Tony his space, an encounter with the Winter Soldier and someone only know as "the Slasher" would force Steve to take action and confront enemies, emotions, and motivations he would rather not think about or admit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just one date

**Author's Note:**

> **Important Notes:**  
>  The art was inspired by the manga Durarara. Knowledge of the manga, anime, or light novels is not necessary for the reader's enjoyment. Actually, it's better if you know nothing about Durarara and just go in blind.
> 
> There is one chapter with rape/non-con, but there will be a clear warning in the notes for those who do not wish to read it. There will be no warnings for canon typical violence or mentions of blood unless requested for by readers. I do want to keep some things a surprise after all ;)
> 
> **Thanks:**  
>  This fic was inspired by KakushiMiko and her fabulous art. I'm sorry it's taken so long for us to get here, but we finally made it, and I'm glad I had the chance to work with you. I hope it's everything you wished for. Art is embedded in the fic. Check her out here [[tumblr link]](http://kakushimiko.tumblr.com/post/145978261717/just-one-by-kakushimiko-miniraven-just-one-date?soc_src=mail&soc_trk=ma#disqus_thread) [[da link]](http://kakushimiko.deviantart.com/art/Just-one-615571238)
> 
> Special thanks go to my betas kuailong, Disco Pinecone, and Morphia. Thank you so much for cheering me on and helping me out when I doubted myself. You guys are amazing!

It was the same as every other night. There he was, once again, on the train as it rumbled dangerously through the mountains. The rush of wind screamed through the hole in the car wall as the thin sheet of metal swung back and forth in the cold. Burning flesh and cold stung at his nose as Steve was faced, once again, with losing the Bucky he knew and loved.

“Steve!” A desperate and familiar voice called out to him.

“Hang on Buck!” Steve dashed over to the sheet of metal precariously swinging over the bottomless ravine.

“Hurry,” begged Bucky. His knuckles were white as he hung on for dear life.

Steve shimmied out on the warped metal as far as he could. Holding onto the remains of a steel bar, he reached out, his gloved fingers only inches away from Bucky’s outstretched hand.

“Come on Buck,” he encouraged. “Just a little further.”

Bucky groaned as he stretched as far as he could. His fingers barely scraped the red fabric. The metal groaned and gave under their weight.

“No!” Steve held onto the bar, barely catching himself in time. He looked up. The metal wall was ripping like aluminum.

“We have to go Buck,” he said, heart beating in throat. He watched as the sheet metal slowly began to rip under the weight. “We have to go now!”

“Steve?"

Steve’s heart stopped. That wasn’t Bucky’s voice.

Steve whirled around. Clinging to the metal for dear life was Tony Stark. His eyes were wide with fear and face was white as the snow on the mountain.

“Tony?” The name fell from his lips as panic began to set in. What was Tony doing here? He shouldn’t be here. Tony hadn’t been on the train and he hadn’t been born yet. What was he doing here? What had happened to Bucky?

“Steve,” Tony reached out, his fingers shaking in the cold. “Help me.”

With a loud screech, the metal gave way. Tony called out Steve’s name as he tumbled down into the darkness.

“Tony!”

He saw both Bucky and Tony fall down into the darkness. They fell head over heel down the cold, snow covered mountain, and there was nothing Steve could do to save the two men. All he could do was hold onto that steel bar for dear life while the screams of his falling friends etched guilt into his heart.

Without warning, the bar gave out, and Steve found himself falling into the darkness. He cried out into the cold night, desperately reaching out for anything that could save him.

A steel floor with a jagged edge appeared beneath him. Steve landed face first on the grate with a grunt. With a grunt, he opened his eyes to see a sea of frothing water swirling below the metal.

Steve groaned as he pushed himself up. Out of the corner of his eye, Steve saw a familiar face unconscious on a nearby slab of metal.

“Tony?"

Tony’s mouth was slack and slightly open, but he didn’t answer. Blood dripped down his head like a slow bead of sweat. The metal sheet groaned and slipped down a few inches toward the water below.

“Tony!” Steve pushed himself up. A heavy leather boot kicked him in the gut, knocking him down.

Stomach still smarting from the hit, Steve rolled over to look up at his attacker. A man clad in leather with soulless blue eyes stared down at him.

“Bucky?” he groaned.

The Winter Soldier grimaced. “How could you, Steve?” demanded the Winter Soldier. With a solid kick to Steve’s face, the Winter Soldier knocked Steve off the metal platform. Steve reeled back. At the last second, Steve grabbed onto the edge of the platform. His legs swung back and forth over the water precariously, but the Winter Soldier paid him no mind.

“I thought we were best friends. How could you leave me to die?”

“It’s not my fault,” Steve begged. Out of the corner of his eye, Steve watched helplessly as Tony’s unconscious body slipped closer and closer to the cold water beneath the helicarrier. “I’m sorry Buck. I wanted to go back for you.”

“But you didn’t, and now look at me,” snarled Bucky.

He ground the heel of the heavy boot into Steve’s fingers.

Steve wanted to scream, but he pushed through the pain. “I’m sorry. If I could go back-”

“But we can’t, now, can we. We can’t go back to the way things were and it’s all your fault. You did this to me!” the Winter Soldier yelled, stomping his foot into Steve’s hand. “You’re to blame!”

“I’m so sorry Buck. I’m sorry,” Steve apologized through the tears. “I just want to make it up to you.”

“You want to atone for your sins?” asked the Winter Soldier. With a warped grin on his face and eyes glowing red, he took a couple steps away from the platform.

“How about you die.”

Steve felt the platform shudder and give out from under his fingers. He fell down into the bone chillingly cold water as the Winter Soldier's’ cruel laugh filled his ears.

“Failure,” chanted the taunting voice as Steve drowned. “You’re a failure. Failure. Failure. Failure! Failure! FAILURE! FAILURE!”

* * *

 

Steve woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for air. He grabbed his shield as his eyes darted around the room. There was no Winter Soldier. There was no water threatening to swallow him up again. He was in his bed in Stark Tower. He was safe.

With a sigh of relief, Steve let go of his shield and buried his head in his hands, running his fingers through his hair.

“Just a dream,” he muttered to himself, trying to ignore the way his body trembled like a leaf.

Taking a breath to calm himself, Steve straightened out the mess of blankets he had thrown off in his sleep and flopped back down in his bed with a heavy sigh. He closed his eyes, but no matter how much he tossed and turned, Steve couldn’t go back to sleep. With an unhappy grumble, Steve took to staring at the ceiling in hopes that watching metaphorical paint dry would bore him to sleep.

It didn’t.

A silent clip show of regrets played in his head. His failure on the slopes all those years ago, the confused look on Bucky’s face as the helicarrier came crashing down around them, the dark room in Austria that the Winter Soldier had destroyed only hours before Steve stumbled upon the scene of the crime.

Steve had failed Bucky so many times. He wanted forgiveness. He wanted redemption. He wanted the guilt plaguing his heart gone. He wanted his friend back. But more than anything, Steve wanted a good night’s sleep without nightmares.

He wanted one night where he didn’t hear Bucky’s cries reverberating against the mountain. One night where the Winter Soldier’s blank eyes didn’t stare into him and judge his soul. But it didn’t feel like he would get one anytime soon. And what was Tony doing in his dreams? The fact that something new had happened in his otherwise repetitive nightmares made Steve uneasy. Whatever had caused this new development, until he took care of his guilt, Steve felt like a restful sleep was an impossible wish.

But as he looked over at his desk, seeing the outline of his sketchpad and pencil, he reconsidered. Steve did remember seeing Tony sneak into the tower about the time he returned from his latest trip to Europe. Or, at least, he’d thought had. Granted, Steve had been swarmed by an army of reporters asking for his opinions on a new villain going by the name of “The Slasher,” so he hadn’t gotten a good look at their resident billionaire. But on sleepless nights like tonight, Tony should be up, right? He had been every other time Steve had a nightmare or just straight up couldn’t sleep. So what made tonight any different?

Steve shuffled out of bed and grabbed his sketchbook. With silent steps, he took the elevator down to Tony’s workshop.

As the numbers pinged with each passing floor, Steve tried not to think too hard about what he was doing. He was just trying to find somewhere quiet to rest and relax. That was all. He didn’t need to confirm Tony’s well being because of the nightmare.  

Besides, sketching relaxed him. Tony’s workshop was relaxing. Him visiting Tony in a loose, white, cotton shirt and baggy pajama pants held no other implications. No matter how many times Sam had made suggestive jabs about Steve’s frequent visits to see Tony, going down to sketch in Tony’s lab at ass o’clock in the morning meant absolutely nothing.

It wasn’t his fault that Steve thought Tony’s workshop was the quietest place in the tower. It wasn’t his fault that everyone else couldn’t stand the loud music and metal parts screaming under heat and pressure. He had tried going to normal relaxing places like the park and the library, but it wasn’t the same. And the gym was good, but he wasn’t in the mood to strap on tape and have at a punching bag that would break if he really let loose. Besides, there was just something about Tony’s lab that helped him unwind in a way that punching bags of sand didn’t.

Tony’s workshop gave him a sense of “safe” and “at home” that he had yet to find in any other location. And Tony himself made Steve feel so alive it was almost addicting. Tony treated Steve like a person and not like an icon. He poked fun at Steve, pushed back when necessary, and did everything possible to feel at ease. Every time Steve went down to sketch, Tony greeted him with open arms and an honest smile.

Tonight would be the same as any other night, right?

“Apologies, Captain,” said Friday after Steve’s second attempt to type in his pass code. “Mister Stark has blocked entrance to all unauthorized personnel.”

“But I am authorized,” objected Steve, feeling a bit offended. “My code should work. I should be able to get in.”

“I’m sorry, Captain,” Friday repeated in a less-than-sorry voice. “But you are not on the list of authorized personnel at this time. Might I suggest you discuss this with Mister Stark at a later time? He is very busy.”

Steve was more than a little put off. Had he done something wrong? Tony rarely went out of his way to block Steve’s access code. But if the man needed privacy-

“Fine,” he grumbled. “Do you know when he will be available to ‘discuss this’?”

“Unknown, Captain.”

Steve tried not to roll his eyes. “Do you have an estimate?” he asked, with a little more sass than necessary. Occasionally Jarvis had been considerate and given Steve hints as how he could get around Stark’s rules.

But Friday wasn’t like that.

“Unknown, Captain.”

“Great,” muttered Steve as he turned away. There went another night of sleep. “Guess I’ll try again some other time.”

* * *

 

“Tony!” Steve banged on the door as hard as he could. “Come out! I know you’re in there.”

He received no response.

“It’s movie night, and you know how Thor get’s when everyone’s not there.”

“I’m sorry Captain,” Friday chirped. “But Mister Stark is-”

“Unavailable. Yeah, I figured,” grumbled Steve. “Mind asking him when he will be available?”

“I’m sorry, Captain. I cannot-”

“You know what, forget about it,” Steve said, cutting Friday off before she could finish. After three weeks of knocking on Tony’s door, Steve had to know when to call it quits. Steve wasn’t going to get any answers anytime soon, so why was he wasting so much time knocking on the doors like Tony was the girl next door?

It wasn’t like Steve was missing Tony’s presence and snark on Thursday movie nights. It wasn’t like he was missing the peace and comfort from the silent noise of Tony working in his workshop. It wasn’t  like he missed Tony. Nope. Not in the slightest.

* * *

 

“Hey Rogers,” Tony waved at Steve from the other side of the kitchen island. “Long time no see.”

“Not for lack of trying,” Steve said, trying to conceal his disappointment. He was still miffed about getting the cold shoulder for so long. And since when had Tony reverted back from _Steve_ and _Capsicle_ to _Rogers_? Calling Steve by his last name, it felt so impersonal considering everything that they had been through.

“So what’s new with you?” asked Tony, sipping a cup of coffee with shaky hands. He must have run out of grounds in the lab. “Off for another round of Where’s Waldo?”

“Actually” Steve said, carefully measuring Tony’s reaction. “I was going to ask you if you wanted to go to lunch tomorrow. You know, catch up since the last time we talked.”

Tony tilted his head in consideration. “When was that, a month or two ago?”

“Just about.”

Tony scratched his head. “Was that before or after this Slasher guy running amok in Central Park?”

“Before. You were on a business trip and I was out looking for Bucky”

“Huh.” Tony took a sip of his coffee. “My how time flies.”

‘Not fast enough when you’re not here,’ whispered a voice in the back of Steve’s head. Steve pretended not to hear it.

“Where’ve you been the past few weeks?” he asked.

Tony shrugged. “Busy. You are aware that I run a multi-million dollar company, right?”

“Last time I heard, it was billion. You getting humble on me Stark?” asked Steve, making the easy jab.

“Hardly,” Tony said with a chuckle. And wasn’t it a testament of their relationship that just hearing

Tony laugh, seeing a hint of a smile on Tony’s face, made Steve feel calmer and more at ease that he had been in weeks. Steve tried to focus on that instead of the quiet thrum of need deep inside his chest.

“How much do you think it costs me to take care of you guys? Feeding you knocks a couple million off my billion every few weeks.”

“In that case,” Steve said, putting his elbows on the counter and leaning closer to Tony. “What say you and I get dinner at a burger joint I heard about down on third? My treat. I hear their double-decker cheese burgers are better than Burger King.”

Tony’s eyes got big. He took in sharp breath, and Steve leaned forward, expecting the next word to be “yes.”

It crushed it heart that it wasn’t.

“I can’t.” Tony gave Steve a weak smile with the side of his mouth. “Sorry Steve.”

Steve groaned. “Come on, Tony.” Steve was on the verge of begging Tony and two steps away with throwing the guy over his shoulder and carrying him to the dive bar. “We haven’t talked in ages. Every time I see you it’s ‘Work this,’ and ‘Work that.’ Take a break. Have lunch with me. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? You look like you’re about to collapse.”

“Wow, Steve. You really know how to make a guy feel good about himself.”

Steve glared at him. “I’m serious.”

Steve had watched the bags under Tony’s eyes get progressively darker as they wordlessly passed each other in the halls. He saw how the wrinkles around his eyes were no longer bright and happy, but deep and heavy set in his skin. Steve noticed how Tony’s steps were no longer light and carefree, but labored and heavy with some unseen weight. Maybe Steve couldn’t save Bucky from the Winter Soldier, and maybe he couldn’t save Tony from the corporate world. But at least he could take Tony out to get his mind off of things for a bit.

“I know. I’m just-” Tony rubbed the back of his neck as he searched for words. “Sorry. It’s this girl, Saika. She’s been getting on my nerves as of late.”

Steve’s entire body tensed. A girl? When had Tony started seeing a girl? Steve hadn’t heard anything about a new girl in Tony’s life. He imagined he would. They lived so close together, it was hard to keep any secrets. Plus, he had the world’s more gossipy spies on his strike team. Any juicy gossip information would have reached his ears within the hour.

And what in the world was she doing to get on Tony’s nerves? With it another Obadiah Stane situation, but this time with a girl? Steve resisted the urge to grind his teeth. Reading it in SHIELD’s report was hard enough. Steve didn’t think he could watch from the sidelines and not do anything if it was another _Obadiah Stane_ situation. “What is she doing?” he asked. His voice was low and predatory. “She’s not harassing you, is she?”

“No! Nothing like that. She’s just,” Tony paused. His eyes darted back and forth as he searched for the right words. “She’s just really intense sometimes. You should meet her. I keep telling her stories, and she seems really interested in meeting you.”

Something in Steve’s stomach curled into a tight ball. “I’d be interested in meeting her too,” he said curtly. Steve tried to remind himself that this was a good thing.

Tony’s breakup with Pepper had been rough. It would do him good to see someone new. Not one of those showgirls his persona always had dangling off his shoulder, but an honest to goodness good natured girl. Someone nice, smart, and strong willed. Blond hair and blue eyes would be a good compliment to Tony’s short brown hair and soft brown eyes. Tall would be good too. Steve was tall. Pepper was tall. And Tony always looked nice when he had someone a few inches taller to contrast his ego. At least, that’s what the artist in him thought.

She’d have to be someone that could understand how Tony thought, and could appreciate the way his eyes sparkled when he tinkered with his suits or talked with his bots. Before they started dating, she would have to know that the big, showy smiles he gave to the camera were fake, and she would appreciate the small grins Tony made when he was truly happy. She’d find the slight blush over the tops of his cheekbones absolutely adorable, and goad Tony with stupid, silly lines just to see him blush. Just like Steve did on a regular basis.

If she could appreciate those small details like Steve did, well, she’d be a fine girl indeed. But it wouldn’t matter if this new girl didn’t have Tony’s best interests in mind. That’s where Steve drew the line.

“Just don’t run yourself ragged just for some dame,” he warned, trying his best to sound unbiased. “You’ve got to look out for yourself, too.”

“I know,” said Tony, soft smile on his lips. Tony’s eyes sparkled in the light. The way Tony looked at Steve, he looked so happy to be dating someone new despite the bloodshot look in his eyes. Was Saika really that good for him? “Don’t worry yourself, Rogers. I know my limits.”

“I know,” Steve quietly replied. He wanted to reach his hand out and rub the fatigue out of Tony’s face, but he pressed his hand down against the table and reminded himself that Tony would be just fine without Steve’s help. Tony had a girl. That was her job now, not his. “Just, keep an eye out for yourself, okay? News says the Slasher is moving out of Central Park, and I don’t want either of you getting injured doing something stupid.”

Tony’s soft smile flipped over into a deep frown. “Same could be said for you too, you know,” he muttered into his mug. “Running into the collapsing building in Austria. Pretty fucking stupid if you ask me.”

Steve’s brow furrowed. What was with the sudden change in subject? “That’s different,” Steve said, squaring his shoulders. “I was going after Bucky.”

“How is that different Rogers? Please, enlighten me,” Tony said, dropping the mug down on the counter with a loud clatter. “Because last time I checked, doing stupid, dangerous stuff for the person you care about is a fairly common trait.”

“Going in there wasn’t stupid. I knew the risks,” Steve said, raising his voice in protest.

Tony snorted. “Yes, because running headlong into a collapsing building after a ninety year old spy blew the support pillars is a genius move.”

The hair on the back of Steve’s neck stood on end. “I almost had him.”

“But you didn’t get him.”

“Some would call that a win.”

“A win means nothing if you’re dead as a door- AH!” Tony cried out, as if some invisible force landed a blow on his head. He bent over, shaking, holding his head in his hands.

“Tony!” Steve ran over to Tony’s side of the island. Before he could touch Tony to check if he was okay, Tony held out a hand, putting up a barrier between him and Steve.

“I’m fine,” Tony said. His breath was heavy and a vein had popped out the side of his head. “I’m fine. Just a headache.” He gave Steve a weak smile through his labored breathing. “It’s probably due to all the coffee I’ve been drinking lately. Work’s been hell on me recently.”

Steve didn’t believe him for one second. Besides a deterioration in Tony’s physical appearance, Steve felt like Tony was hiding something more. It was as if there was something bubbling beneath the surface that just wasn’t right. But for the life of him, Steve couldn’t figure out what. And thanks to his long trips looking for Bucky and their already strained relationship, Steve didn’t want to push Tony further away by telling him what he could and couldn’t do.

“You sure you’re okay?” asked Steve.

Tony nodded. “I’ll take a pill and lie down for a bit.” He pushed himself up. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Yeah, fine,” Steve said, taking step back to give Tony some room. He wasn’t too happy, but a voice in Steve’s head reminded him of an undeniable truth. Tony was a grown man. He didn’t need Steve hovering around like a mother hen. He could make his own decisions. “Just watch your back, okay?”

“Yeah, I will. Same goes for you Captain,” Tony said with a smile as he staggered up to his room.


	2. Just one monster

“Is our esteemed Captain still brooding?” asked Clint as he and Natasha walked into the living room and up behind the couch.

“I am not brooding,” grumbled Steve, sinking back a little further into the his seat.

Clint rolled his eyes. “Steve, you are the literal definition of brooding.”

“I’m watching the baseball game, thank you very much.”

“You’re watching a Yankees game,” observed Clint. “You never watch a Yankees game unless they’re playing the Dodgers.”

Steve tried not to grumble at the unwanted peanut gallery. “Can’t a guy just sit back, relax, and watch a little baseball?”

“We’re just worried about you,” said Natasha, offering him an understanding nudge. “You haven’t been yourself for awhile.”

“Why don’t you hang out with Stark for a few hours?” asked Clint, jumping over the back of the couch and into a seat. He grabbed a handful of untouched chips and stuffed it into his mouth. “That always seems to cheer you up.”

Steve looked down into his crossed arms. Suddenly, he wasn’t in the mood to watch the game anymore. “Tony and I really aren’t talking as of late.”

Clint raised a questioning eyebrow. “Why not?”

Steve sunk down into the couch. “He’s got a girl,” he muttered under his breath.

“Oh! Is that why he’s not calling me Katniss anymore?” asked Clint. “Gotta give that girl a high five next time I see her. Takes quite the woman to make our resident billionaire grow up.”

Steve slumped down in his seat.

Clint continued to pester him with questions. “Have you seen her? Is she cute? Does she have a sister?”

Natasha slapped Clint upside the head.

“Not yet,” Steve mumbled to his arms. “But Tony wants me to meet her, so she can’t be all that bad.”

Clint and Natasha traded looks. “Is that what you’re telling yourself, or is that what you really think?” Natasha asked, her voice gentle and nonjudgmental.

Steve tried to keep his face as blank as possible. There were a lot of thing he thought, not all of them pleasant. He thought about how unfair it was that Saika ran Tony down to absolutely nothing, leaving him with bags under his eyes and a migraine every night. He thought about how she couldn’t appreciate Tony nearly enough considering all that he did for the Avengers, his company, and the community. He thought about how it was unfair it was that she was able to slip so easily into Tony’s life while Steve had to fight tooth and nail for even a moment of Tony’s attention. He thought about how satisfying it would be if she was secretly a Hydra agent and Steve got to beat her up within an inch of her life before sweeping a swooning Tony off his feet and driving off into the sunset.

“I think,” Steve grumbled, pushing the thoughts back down into his subconscious, “I want to watch my game.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it, Steve. Plenty of women have gone in and out of Stark’s life. I’m sure it’s not serious,” assured Clint.

Steve wanted to agree and attribute it to a one off, but an unhappy “He took her to the benefit tonight,” slipped out instead.

Clint paused, hand hanging in the air over the chips. “Okay, maybe a little serious.”

Natasha cocked a curious eyebrow. “Are you sure? Did he tell you himself?”

The way Natasha was looking at him, Steve wanted to sink further down into the couch and disappear. Tony didn’t have to tell Steve anything. Steve was smart. He could read the signs.

Tony went out, looking like a million dollars as always. Hair slicked up, black suit and white tie pressed and free of lint, gold watch on his wrists large enough to show his status but small enough not to be cumbersome, the slight outline of his ass showing through the custom made dress pants, any girl would jump that. Plus, he left muttering “Saika this” and “Saika that” under his breath as he check his diamond cufflinks. Tony only wore cufflinks when he was trying to impress someone. Didn’t take much to connect the dots.

It was to be expected. A girlfriend took precedent over a best friend any day. But knowing that didn’t make Steve’s heart hurt any less.

“I’m not blind,” Steve said.

“What? Don’t tell me you wanted to go?” Clint asked in disbelief. “Steve, you hate being toted around like a show monkey. Every time we get invited to a big wig event, you hang around the drink bar and look like you want to strangle yourself with your own tie.”

“I do not,” Steve said indignantly.

The first party Tony had invited him to; Steve had found interesting. Steve found a group of veterans and was able to amuse himself until the holdovers thinned out. They traded war stories and discussed how the army was the same and yet so different from Steve’s time. They talked about the adjustment process back into civilian life and ‘Hey Tony come over here. This guy improvised a radio out of chicken wire and an old computer. Not as impressive as what you could have done, but look at these kids! Aren’t they amazing?

No, Tony. Stop trying to show them up. Yes, I’m impressed with their record, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop being an Avenger to join up again. No. Don’t tell them that story. What are you trying to do, embarrass me so I won’t be able to get a job doing anything else? Stop laughing. You’ll only encourage him.

Much better than the fifth party he had attended.

They had attended a political dinner, or at least it was supposed to be. His tie had been an inch too tight around his neck and the gossip flowed too freely for his taste. Steve had indulged a group of rich men and women as they complained about how the weather had been so inconsiderate as of late. There went their hours of tanning aboard their private yacht, and how dare it rain so late in the season don’t you agree, Captain Rogers?

Yes. Yes, I agree completely with you sir or ma’am. It’s not like there are starving children in the city you live in trying their damnedest just to stay alive. Tony, can you come over and help me prove a point before I bash their skulls in on accident and blame it on Hydra? No? What, what are you doing? I’m not done yet. You’re defusing the situation and walking away. Okay. That works too.

The last benefit Steve had found tolerable had been only a few months before his latest search for Bucky. Steve had spent his hours standing in the middle of a crowded floor, sipping a drink with nowhere near enough alcohol to get him drunk. He had spent what felt like hours watching Tony schmooze beautiful guys and dolls with old money. People talked to him about his uniform, but what Steve remembered most about the lackluster night was daydreaming about what it would be like to be the one on Tony’s arm.

He remembered taking a sip of the water-like drink every time one of Tony’s suitors made him laugh. Black tie events were usually boring, but being able to see Tony smile after Steve had spent so many months away from New York was like breathing fresh air as he drowned in a sea of guilt.

“I don’t mind if it’s for the promotion of good things.”

“You mean, you don’t mind going if it’s with Tony,” clarified Natasha.

“It’s a benefit to raise money and awareness for disabled research and prosthetics. It would have been better if someone with a personal interest was there to help promote as opposed to some random doll only there to be Tony’s accessory,” Steve said, with a wince. His speech sounded just as wooden as his lines for the first war bonds show.

“Wow. How often did you rehearse that in front of the mirror?” asked Clint. “Say that with a little more conviction next time, and I might believe you’re not a terrible liar.”

Steve didn’t bother with a reply, but he couldn’t deny the sudden flush of heat in his cheeks.

Clint let out a frustrated huff of air. “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, Steve, but there might be a reason Tony invited his girl and not you. You have been a little shitty to him as of late.”

Steve scowled at Clint. “I tried talking to him. We were doing just fine until this business with the Slasher came up. And I know I might have been a little short after coming back without Bucky, but I have tried to apologize.”

“No, no, before that. Remember? It was when you were looking for Barnes. You were demanding things from him left and right.”

Steve shrugged. “He said I could ask him for anything.”

“And you don’t remember taking him for a mile?” asked Natasha.

“I didn’t do that,” Steve said, a little offended at Natasha’s question “I just asked him for some favors.”

Natasha frowned at him. “You told him to blow off an important business trip.”

“I needed him.” Steve said, trying to justify his actions. “I had gone three days straight without sleep and I wasn’t thinking all that clearly. What do you expect? Besides, it was just a dinner. It’s not like it’s the end of the world.”

Natasha’s face smoothed down into a blank slate. She crossed her arms and turned her attention back to the TV. “You don’t have the faintest idea what goes on during those meetings.”

Steve tried not to squirm. He was smart enough to know that he was missing something, but he hated when Natasha kept him out of the loop as to what he was missing.

“Watch,” Clint said with a joking nudge. “Bet you the next thing on TV will be pictures of the end of the world.”

A grim looking face interrupted the baseball game. “Breaking news,” said the reporter. “An explosion went off at the Crowne Plaza Hotel just a few minutes ago. News crews are already at the hotel, reporting on a charity banquet on behalf of the Maria Stark Foundation, and have reported a series of gunshots. No word yet on the status of hotel guests as the smoke has yet to clear, but initial reports do not seem good.”

Steve thought his heart stopped as a camera panned around a tall building. Bright lights lit up the building like a Christmas tree, but the top floors were completely dark. Cracked windows encased a cloud of gray smoke as it slowly billowed out the sides.

A single name caught in Steve’s throat as he looked at Stark Foundation banner flapped in the wind. “Tony.”

“Okay,” said Clint. “So maybe not the end of the world."

Throwing himself off the couch, Steve yelled over his shoulder, “I’m going out.”

“Right behind you, Cap,” said Natasha as she and Clint followed him into the elevator.

* * *

 

“I’m sorry sir. No civilians are allowed in at this time,” repeated the officer behind the blockade.

Steve understood that she was just trying to do her job, but he couldn’t settle the uneasy feeling in his gut that something was very wrong. “Please,” he insisted. “My friend is in there.”

“And I assure you,” said the officer, clearly beginning to lose her patience. “We’re doing everything in our power to make sure he’s alright.”

“Agent Barton, Agent Romanov, can I help you with something?” A familiar face walked up from behind the officer.

“Agent Hill.” Clint gave her nod.

“We saw what happened on the news. Tony was  holding a benefit here, so figured we’d stop by to see if he’s okay,” explained Natasha.

“Good thing that you came. We were just about to call a couple agents in to handle the situation.” Maria held up the plastic police tape for them to pass through.

“Cap too?” asked Clint.

Maria looked at Steve, as if analyzing a résumé. “Sure. He might be able to bring some insight.” Hill gave a nod to the officer as a silent sign of, ‘They’re with me.’

The officer nodded, and moved aside so they could pass.

Silently, they walked up the stairs and into the lavish hotel. “So, what’s the situation Hill?” asked Natasha as soon as the civilians were out of earshot.

“Not sure,” replied Maria as she pressed the button for the elevator. “Still trying to make heads or tails of the situation, but it looks like the Slasher struck again.”

“I thought we didn’t handle stuff like that,” said Clint. “Considering his attacks in Central Park and the surrounding area, the Slasher seems more of a ‘non fatal serial attacks’ kind of guy. SHIELD is more of the ‘take down super villain/supernatural entity who wants to take over the world’ kind of organization. Why call us in?”

“Because we have video footage,” said Maria as the elevator pinged open. “And from the looks of it, it doesn’t seem like something the NYPD is equipped to handle.”

As the doors closed around them, Hill brought up a video on her tablet. On the screen, a short video clip looped over and over. The clip showed a darkened room. Unfocused silhouettes of people dashed back and forth across the picture, screaming at the chaos. A figure appeared at the edge of the screen. Its body was a human shaped black miasma. Red eyes glowed like taillights in the rain as it slipped off camera.  Not seconds later, it appeared again, close enough that it could smell the viewer on the other side of the camera. It raised a long, thin weapon back behind its head. With an inhuman cry, it brought down the glinting weapon, and the screen went white with static.

“Holy shit,” said Clint, watching the clip loop over again.

“It’s not much, but it looks like something we’d be best equipped to deal with.” She passed the tablet off to Natasha for a closer look.

“You can say that again,” said Natasha, engrossed in analyzing the clip.

“So much about the internet theory about the Slasher being some drugged up cultists,” sighed Clint. “They’re going to be so sad when I tell them the random attacks on people aren’t part of a ritual demon summoning.”

Steve gave Clint a suspicious glance. “How long have you been following this?” he asked.

“Ever since it started a few months ago,” Clint said with a shrug. “It didn’t seem like something we’d get involved in, so I didn’t see the harm in stalking the discussion boards for information.

“SHIELD deals with super villains and the unnatural. Far as the news and internet were concerned, the Slasher was a normal guy. No way a guy like that would pop up on SHIELD’s radar. He may have a weird fascination for cutting people within an inch of their life, but it sounded like something the police could handle on their own. ”

“Until now,” added Steve.

“Well you’ll have to let them to speculate from now on,” Maria said, giving Clint the stink eye. “Now that it’s SHIELD business, any and all information is to be kept top secret.  That means no posting your theories on message boards across the internet, Clint.”

Clint snorted. “Always there to ruin my fun, huh?”

“Somebody has to.”

“So, what are we looking at first?” asked Natasha as the elevator doors opened.

“The wounds of the victims for starters,” said Maria, leading them toward the scene of the crime. “Everyone here seems to have them, so we’re starting with that.”

“What about witness testimony?” asked Steve as he surveyed the room. He noticed a few bullet holes in the window and a spattering of blood on the walls, tables, chairs, and on the floor.

Maria let out a frustrated hiss. “We’re not getting much information about the perpetrator from witnesses. The consensus is that there was a red, glowing thing moving around through the smoke. After that, the guests can’t remember anything.

“So we’re trying to follow any physical evidence we can get our hands on. Video, footprints, fingerprints, heat signatures, you name it, we’re trying it.”

“Which is why you’re looking at the cut marks on the victims,” finished Natasha.

“Bingo. If we confirm that the cuts all come from the same source, then we can figure out what weapon the Slasher is using and narrow it down from there. We’ve got some information based on previous Slasher reports, but not much. Since the Slasher wasn’t killing anyone, figuring out what weapon he was using wasn’t top priority for local police.”

“How about I start with ballistics then,” said Clint as he wandered over to a large splash of blood on a wall. “Internet speculation says he works alone. Always has something sharp to cut with, but never uses a guns. And judging by the splatter pattern on the wall, someone new must have come along to help because _this_ is the work of a gunman. Bullets might be something from a long distance sniper if I had to take a guess. Has a team already collected the evidence?”

Maria nodded. “Two bullet wounds were found in Senator Robert Bradbury’s chest and stomach. Most likely long distance shots, like you said. They were found beneath a slash that went from his left shoulder to the right side of his waist.”

“But the hits weren't lethal,” speculated Clint, squatting down for a closer look. “I hate it when bad guys team up.”

“So we know that he’s working with someone and that the Slasher is a righty, right?” asked Steve.

“Not necessarily,” corrected Clint. “Reports over the forums described cuts from a right handed man and a left handed man. So the Slasher could be ambidextrous.”

Maria groaned and rubbed her temple. “Internet speculation is not evidence. We need evidence if we’re going to have a case. So can you get your ass moving and find some?”

“Yes ma’am.” Clint said with a wink. “I assume you already have people looking for the casings?”

“Just sent out a few agents to look at possible points of origin.”

“You do that.” Clint grunted as he stood up. “I’m going to go have a look for myself.  Have the agents check the places a normal human could shoot from. I’ll check the places I could shoot from. See if that can tell us anything about our mysterious shooter.”

“Understood.”

Natasha swung down from one of the low hanging chandlers. “I need to check something for myself. Let me know if anything comes up, and I’ll be back in a few.”

Maria gave her a nod of approval, and Natasha took off. Leaving Steve alone with Agent Hill and feeling very awkward amid the bustling hive of agents.

“So,” said Steve, placing his hands on his hips as he resisted the urge to rock back and forth. “What do you need me for?”

“I was wondering if you knew where Tony is,” said Maria, her attention on her tablet as reports came in.

The first thought in Steve’s head was a testy, ‘I’m not his babysitter.’ But what came out was a worried, “He’s not here?”

Maria shrugged. “His name is on the guest list, but we can’t find him. I was wondering if he left before this all went down, or if he called the armor to get out. Kidnapping is also an option, but given the situation it doesn’t seem likely. Any ideas?”

Steve shook his head. “No.” Worry began to leak into his voice. “I haven’t heard anything. I’ve been watching baseball since Tony left. The tower has been completely silent the entire night. I- I don’t know what could have happened.”

“Happened to who? Are you talking about me gorgeous?” asked a familiar voice.

Steve’s heart skipped a beat. He whirled around just in time to see Tony stumble into the room. “Tony! Are you okay? Oh my god, you’re bleeding!”

“Huh?” Tony looked down at his blood-stained suit, a tattered mess compared to when he left Stark Tower only a few hours ago. A dark red, wet stain encompassed his shoulder. “Oh this? Yeah, I was wondering why my arm hurt.” Tony took a step forward. His legs gave out under him and sent him crumpling down onto the ground.

“Tony!” Steve ran over to Tony’s side. He gathered the man up in his arms, not minding the blood that stuck to his clothes.

Tony’s eyes were a bit unfocused in the dim light. His mouth stayed slightly slack jawed no matter how many times he tried to close it. “Maybe I shouldn’t have run so fast.” His words slurred together as if he was drunk.

“Stark,” Maria said in greeting.

“Agent Hill!” Tony gave her a dazzling smile (as dazzling as one could get when they were bleeding out all over the floor). “Glad to see a familiar face. What is it this time? Need a signature, because I swear, I signed every piece of paper Pepper put on my desk this afternoon.”

“Afraid it’s SHIELD business,” she said, skipping the pleasantries. “Mind telling me what happened here?”

Tony’s brow furrowed. “Not quite sure. Before the lights went out, everything was going swimmingly. I was in the ballroom talking to a senator about some big important _thing_ that involved money. Can’t remember his name for the life of me, so don’t ask. Then there was an explosion. The lights went off and everyone started screaming.

“Next thing I know, bullets are flying, people are panicking and I’m just doing my best to get out of the ballroom and into the hall. When I got out in the hall, I saw the Winter Soldier run across the rooftops. Steve here has been looking for him for ages. So what’s a good friend like me do? Chase him as far as I could. But somewhere along the line, I started feeling dizzy and lost him.”

“Sorry Steve,” he said, petting Steve’s arm in reassurance. “I know you want to get him back, but I just wasn’t fast enough.”

“It’s fine,” Steve said, pressing a heavy hand down on Tony’s bleeding shoulder. “I just- Let’s get someone to look at you. You look like you’re about to pass out from blood loss.”

“Don’t worry, Captain. I’m fine,” Tony said with a paling face and a weak smile.

Steve snorted. “You’re a horrible liar Stark,” Steve whispered as a team of medical experts gathered around them.


	3. Just one cut

Steve watched Tony anxiously as the heart monitor on the opposite of the hospital bed beeped steadily with each heartbeat. Tony’s face looked sickly pale against the white hospital sheets. Each shallow breath he took came back out with an unnerving wheeze.

As Steve sat in the plastic hospital chair, his mind began to wander to places that had otherwise been occupied by Bucky and the Winter Soldier.

Had Tony always had problems breathing? Steve knew that the arc reactor had to go somewhere, but this was the first time he really thought about the damage done by embedding the no longer needed machine within Tony’s chest.

The arc reactor had saved his life, but at what cost? How much of Tony’s chest had been broken, mutilated, or otherwise compromised because of the device? If the shards were small enough to tear Tony’s heart to shreds, the scars along the valves of his heart had to be shallow, but many. Not to mention a sternum broken in half for the machine to fit. And what about lung space? How had all that damage effected Tony’s health? The palladium had been killing Tony. He claimed he was better now, but how many years had the metal taken off an otherwise happy life?

Had it hurt? It had to. Steve remembered seeing pictures of the black veins radiating out from the reactor casting before Tony had found a replacement for palladium. Steve remembered thinking that no man should have to live with something like that. And yet Tony did. He’d lived with it for months and survived to tell the tale.

He fought harder than any civilian should be expected to and just as hard as any soldier on the battlefield, and look at how Steve treated the mouthy man when they had first crossed paths. Belittlement, passive aggressive remarks, underestimating just how far Tony would go, just because Tony was a rich guy with a big name and a façade the size of Manhattan. Steve should have known better. Little guy, picking fights on the streets ever since he knew what a bully was, Steve should have known better.

In the years that they had known each other, worked together, lived in the same building, what else had Steve missed because he was blinded by emotion? What else had he missed because of assumptions he’d made about Tony’s character.

He had assumed that Tony would keep his head down when the shooting started and the Slasher appeared, be a smart civilian and call for backup. He had assumed that Tony would have placed a tracker on Bucky instead of going after a trained assassin like an idiot. He had assumed Tony would always be waiting at the tower for Steve to return from a mission. And yet Tony had taken up with a girl that Steve knew nothing about. Even after all their years working together as Avengers, Steve really hadn’t learned a thing about the man.

As the morning sun rose higher into the sky behind the drawn curtains, Steve beat himself over the head for his idiocy.

He should have known better. He should have known that Tony would have thrown himself into the flames at the earliest sign of trouble. Steve should have sent the suit out to Tony instead of hoofing it over to check on his teammate in person.

If only he had been a little faster and caught Bucky in Austria. Or better yet, not let Bucky slip off the train all those years ago. Steve could have prevented this disaster. If he had just done something, he could have been down in Tony’s workshop, watching the mastermind at work, sketching those gorgeous hands covered with splashes of black oil. Instead, he was stuck in a fluorescent-lit hospital waiting on pins and needles for one of the most amazing people in his life to wake up while his oldest friend ran rampant around town with the Slasher.

Squeezing Tony’s hand, Steve swore to himself that he would be better. He’d work harder, be strong. Be more aware of Tony so he could be there to support the man.

Saika was a fluke, a silent blip that had slipped under Steve’s radar. He wouldn’t let that happen again. Steve had already lost one of the most important people in his life on the train years ago. He’d be damned if he lost someone else because of his negligence.

There was a light knock. Without waiting for a “come in,” Natasha slowly opened the door with a squeak and let herself in. “How’s it going?” she asked, her voice soft with concern.

Steve let out a heavy sigh. “Better,” Steve begrudgingly admitted as he rubbed his temple. “Doctors patched him up best they could. A little malnourished because of his work schedule, but he should be waking up soon.”

“What about everyone else?” he asked, trying to distract himself from Tony’s situation. “How are they doing?”

Natasha let out a tired sigh. “Agent Hill is wrapping up loose ends at the hotel. Barton called in to double check the bullet casings and confirmed that our good friend the Winter Soldier is working with the Slasher.”

Steve let out a silent curse. What the hell was Bucky thinking working with a psychopath like the Slasher? Bucky would never do that. And it wouldn’t make sense for the Winter Soldier to be working for the Slasher either. Unless the Slasher paid a bunch of money for a distraction, Steve saw no benefit to the partnership. So why were they they both at the benefit last night?

“And for the record,” said Natasha, pulling Steve out of his thoughts,“I wasn’t asking about Stark. I was asking about you. How you holding up Cap?”

The ‘fine’ was on the tip of Steve’s tongue, but Steve couldn’t bring himself to say it. He really wasn’t ‘fine’ and he knew Natasha would see through the lie in a second. Besides, after hours sitting on edge just waiting for Tony to wake up and assure Steve he was okay, Steve was bone tired and couldn’t be bothered to fib. “Honestly, not too good,” he said with a reluctant groan.

Natasha nodded in silent understanding. “Why don’t you take a break,” offered Natasha with a knowing look in here eye. “I’ll keep an eye on him.”

Tony’s face scrunched up as if he was having an unpleasant dream. His body stiffened under the bandages. He groaned and tried to roll over and off the bed, but Steve gently pulled him back to the center of the cot.

“He’s going to wake up soon,” Steve said, still holding on to Tony’s shoulder. He didn’t want to advertise it, but he was reluctant to leave Tony’s side.

“All the more reason to not look like death when he wakes up,” Natasha said with a smile. “Go on Steve. Get yourself some badly made hospital coffee or something.”

Coffee did sound good. Even if it didn’t give him the caffeine burst that other people got, it would do him good to get out of the small, depressing room. He gave Tony’s arm one last squeeze and stood up from the poorly made chair, acutely aware how it squeaked under his weight. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

Natasha gave him an approving nod and took his seat by Tony’s bed as Steve left the room.

Closing the door behind him, Steve took a deep breath. It was a little better out here. Still smelled horribly of antiseptic wipes, but it was a bit better. The florescent lights were just as blinding annoying as they were in Tony’s room. Hence, the reason why Steve had closed the blinds and opted for the natural morning light.

Steve followed the signs on the walls and ceiling until he found a drink machine. Pulling out his wallet, he shoved a few coins into the slot, and waited for his subpar coffee to fill the tiny paper cup.

As the dark liquid slowly dripped out of the despencer, he noticed a woman in a medical gown standing just a few feet away. She wasn’t doing anything suspicious in particular. Yet the way she stared blankly down the hall, it put Steve on edge. Something about this didn’t feel quite right.

“Excuse me,” he said, cautiously approaching the woman. “Are you lost?”

The woman didn’t respond. She just stared straight ahead, mouth slightly agape, as if she was listening to something with passive attention.

Steve waved a hand in front of her face. “Miss, are you alright?” He received no response.

The red light on the machine flashed on and off, calling Steve’s attention to the steaming cup of coffee.

Steve was about to walk and retrieve his drink when the woman muttered something that sounded like, “Yes, Mother.” Her posture straightened and her eyes began to glow red. The same deep, dark red as Slasher in the video.

Steve looked at her in shock. He blinked a couple of time to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. But there was no mistaking the glow in her eyes. “You’re the Slasher?” he asked in disbelief.

The woman didn’t respond.

“Ma’am,” he said, placing his hand on her arm. “I’m going to need you to come with me.”

But the woman didn’t seem to notice. She pulled her arm out of his grasp and walked over to a nearby box labeled “break in case of emergency.” She broke the glass with a single punch, reached in, and pulled out the hatchet.

Steve immediately switched gears. “Lady, you _ really _ should put that down,” Steve said, trying to sound as calm and commanding as possible.

But once again, he received no response from the woman. Ax in hand, and a determined frown on her face, she slowly walked down the corridor and turned down a hall labeled “West Wing”.

Steve stood alone, stunned. She didn’t look like the Slasher in the video. She didn’t even have a serial attacker vibe about her. If anything, it felt like the woman was possessed by an unknown entity rather than a wanted criminal.

Steve didn’t want to bring in the wrong guy, but he also didn’t want more people to get hurt. He had already failed Tony with the attack on the Crown Plaza, but what was he supposed to do in a situation like this? Should he treat it like a sleepwalker?  She clearly didn’t look like she was sleepwalking. She had punched through a glass window and ran off with an ax without even flinching.

Not daring to leave the woman to her own devices, Steve cautiously chased after the woman. Making sure to stay a few paces out of sight, Steve followed her around the hospital to the West Wing.

Around the last corner, he heard a muffled clamor. Taking care not to be seen, Steve peeked around the wall.

A mob of people with similarly colored red eyes had gathered around a door, and were angrily trying to push their way into the room. The way the group pushed and shoved at each other, they were clearly unorganized. The sheer size of the group and the inhuman glow from their eyes was intimidating, but what scared Steve more was what they held in their hands.

Each person carried a sharp object in their hand. The weapons ranged from practical things such as surgery knives and scissors, to impractical monsters like kitchen knives and the ax from before. In fact, Steve counted at least three axes battering at the door, trying to break it down.

Steve tried not to panic. Multiple people with the Slasher’s signature red eyes? Did this mean there were multiple Slashers? How was this possible?

He needed to call for backup, now.

Pulling out his phone, Steve began pressing buttons to call for backup. He had no idea what he was dealing with, and was clearly outnumbered.

“Agent Hill,” said a voice on the other line as Steve pushed the phone up to his ear.

“You need to get over here, now,” he whispered, shifting his weight so he could get a better look at the mob.

“Why?”

“The Slasher is here, at the hospital. I don’t know they got in, but I got a bad feeling something big is about to go down.”

“What do you mean ‘they’? What’s going on over there?”

An angry growl erupted from the room.

“I gotta go,” Steve said, ending the call with a tap of his thumb.

Steve turned around just in time to see a dark haired figure shove his way out of the mess and race down the hall at top speed. Time seemed to slow down in front of Steve’s eyes as Bucky Barnes ran past him at a breakneck speed.

“Bucky!” Steve tried to call out. The crowd roared to life. They surged after Barnes in a massive cloud of red eyes, weapons trained on the assassin. Steve barely got out of the way as the mob stormed down the hall and after Barnes.

Gathering his wits about him, Steve ran after the mob as fast as he could. But no matter how hard he pushed himself, the crowd of normal humans was faster. He’d think about how that was possible later. Right now, he had to get Bucky back before something horrible happened.

Rounding the last corner, Steve skidded to a stop. The Slasher and all his minions had vanished without a trace. All around the small waiting room, confused civilians in hospital gowns milled about. There were even a few doctors and nurses too, whispering amongst themselves in hushed tones. But there was no Bucky.

A gentle breeze from an open window caught his attention.Steve rushed over to the empty opening, shoving people out of his way. He pushed his head out the window, hoping he could catch Bucky before he slipped out of his grasp once again.

Nothing. Only a wide landscape of old brick buildings and a flock of recently disrupted pigeons.

In a fit of rage, Steve punched the whitewash wall. He had missed Bucky,  _ again _ . He was less than a foot away from grabbing his best friend, and he had missed his chance.

Maybe, he could still make up the difference. How hard could it be to find a leather bound super soldier in the middle of New York?

Steve was just about to jump out the window to go after Bucky when a tap on his interrupted his thoughts.

“Excuse me.” It was the woman from before. She stared at him with matte brown eyes, a confused look etched into her face. “Are you a doctor? Did you add something to my medication? I remember falling asleep in my room, and the next thing I know, I’m here.”

“Ma’am?”

“I really need to know if I’m high or not,” the woman insisted. “I’ve been off the hard stuff for years, and to wake up and not know where I am, it’s starting to concern me.”

Steve didn’t have time for this. Bucky was still here, in New York, only a few meters away from him. Steve had to go after him, now. Calming the emotions on his face, Steve tried his best to hide the anger and frustration in his voice. “Ma’am, if you could just give me a moment-”

A woman screamed. “I’m bleeding!” She collapsed to the ground, pressing both her hands into the red stain forming around her abdominal. “How could this have happened? I don’t remember getting hurt. This must be the devil’s work. I warned you. I warned you all! The devil is real and he walks among us!”

“Please, you need to calm down ma’am,” urged a nurse. “We’ll get to the bottom of this, I promise.”

“If I could have your attention please.” A doctor stood up on a nearby chair. “If you can please make a line here, we’ll get this all sorted out shortly.”

“Alex!” a man yelled as he pushed his way through the crowd of people. “Has anyone seen my son? I left him in his room to go out for a smoke, and now I can’t find him anywhere. ”

A boy with dark brown hair and a red shirt pushed his way through the mass of people. “Daddy!” he cried, tears streaming down his face. “What’s going on, daddy? You left me in my bed, and then I woke up here.”

“I don’t know, but don’t worry. We’ll figure it out soon,” that father said, comforting the boy.

Steve’s worry for Bucky was suddenly replaced with panic as he looked at the little boy shaking in his father’s arms. Steve had left Tony alone in his room while the Slasher was on the loose. In all the commotion, the Slasher could have slipped into Tony’s room and attacked Tony in his sleep. Natasha would have stopped him, but if there was more than one? What if  Slasher had somehow overpowered her, Tony would be helpless.

Steve dashed past the army of nurses, doctors, and security guards as they flooded into the room of confused people. He ran down last two hallways to Tony’s room and banged on the door.

“Tony? Natasha!” Steve rattled the locked handle. He heard no movement from the other side. Steve pressed his ear up against the door and listened. Still nothing.

Had he been right? Had the Slasher gotten into Tony’s room? Had the Slasher used the zombie-like horde as a distraction to get to Tony?

Fearing the worst, Steve backed up a few steps to ram the door down. Just as he was about to gun it, he heard a soft click. The door opened. “Captain?” Natasha said, poking her head out from behind the door. “Is something wrong?”

Steve dropped his shoulder and let out a sigh of relief. Natasha was okay. The Slasher hadn’t hurt them. “No. Not really. You guys okay?”

“Yes.” She looked confused. “Why? Did something happen?”

Steve nodded. “Yeah. I saw some of the patients gather together and attack Bucky. No idea what started it, but I swear it happened. I was out by the vending machine getting coffee, and then I saw this woman with red eyes just staring off into space. Then there were more of them, and I saw Bucky come out of a private room. The red-eyed people went after Bucky, but he got away. And then I didn’t know if anything happened to you guys, and I just thought-”

“Captain, calm down. We’re both okay,” she reassured him. “Nothing came by and and nobody got hurt.”

“Right,” said Steve, more to reassure himself than a response to her. He looked past her shoulder and noticed that the window was open, allowing for a gentle breeze to fill the room. The wind rippled the curtain around Tony’s bed and Steve felt as if the floor fall out under him.

“Where’s Tony?” he asked, pushing his way into the room. “You said you would look after him.”

“I did,”

He threw back the curtain with an angry snarl. “Then where the hell is he?”

“He checked himself out,” Natasha said from the doorway. “The doctor said he’d be okay as long as he got some bed rest, so he called Happy and headed home.”

“You should have told him to stay!” Steve snapped.

Natasha looked as if she was resisting the urge to roll her eyes. “Steve,” she said, voice quiet and calm. “Tony Stark a grown man. I can’t tell him what he can and can’t do.”

“Yes, you can,” Steve yelled. He took a breath and ran his fingers through his hair, trying to calm his nerves. “He’s not in a place to be making decisions. He’s supposed to be bedridden. There’s a madman on the loose and Tony can’t look after himself when he’s that far gone.”

“What would you have done?” asked Natasha.

The first idea that popped into Steve’s mind was kissing Tony’s smart mouth and holding him down until the man gave up and submitted. But Steve couldn’t say that. Instead, he shook the thought from his head and stomped out of the room grumbling, “You could have at least held him for five minutes.”

“Captain, where are you going?”

“To find Tony,” Steve yelled over his shoulder.

* * *

 

Steve stepped out the hospital and onto the street. No sign of Tony or his ride anywhere. Quick as he could, Steve pulled out his phone and dialed Tony’s number. Tony picked it up on the third ring.

“Genius, billionaire, playboy, or philanthropist; how may I direct your call?”

“Where are you?” Steve demanded, his eyes darting around the busy street for any sign of Tony.

“In the back of a car, headed back to the tower,” Tony said as if driving back from the hospital was as boring as a bread run. “Why?”

Steve groaned. “You can’t do this Tony. You can’t go off all on your own just because you feel like it.”

“And why not?”

Steve ran a shaky hand through his hair. He stuttered to formulate an answer that wouldn’t make it sound like he wanted to lock Tony up in an ivory tower. “Because-”

“Saika found Barnes.”

Steve’s hand froze. Time stopped moving. Those three words were all Steve need to hear to stop his train of thought dead in its tracks. “Your girlfriend did what?”

“Just got off the phone with her,” said Tony, sounding a little short of breath. “He’s close. We don’t know how long he’s going to be in New York, so best get the jump on him while we can.”

“Let me talk to her then,” insisted Steve, switching the phone the other ear. His brain was beginning to work a thousand miles a minute, weighing and debating possibilities. “We can formulate a plan while you rest.”

A strained chuckle crackled over the phone. “No can do Captain. Besides, it’s better this way. Trust me.”

Better? Better how? And better for who? Better for Steve? Better for Tony? Better for Bucky? Impossible.

Steve clenched his teeth as he tried to bite down on his gut feeling. He knew Tony was hiding something from him. Something big. Steve need to know Tony’s secret and he need to know it now. “Tony I swear-”

“Oops. There’s a tunnel. Talk to you later Captain.”

The call dropped with a decisive beep. Steve stared at the phone in disbelief. Every stubborn nerve in his body was screaming at him to throw the phone in frustration, but he held on tight to the little black box.

What the hell? Why had Tony hung up like that? What was Tony hiding from him? Everyone had little secrets that they kept to themselves, right? Steve had tried to give Tony space, but this was getting out of hand. And what did Saika know that Steve didn’t? What information did she have access to that allowed her to track Bucky so easily.

Ready to pull his hair out, Steve stomped down the sidewalk and back to the tower. Maybe a run would help clear his head.

Steve ran a few blocks, just focusing on the slight burn in his muscles and the rumble of the city street under his feet, when he saw the familiar shine of silver glinting from behind a dumpster. He slowed down just in time to hear a familiar voice.

“You.” A breath caught in Steve’s throat as time slowed to a crawl..

“Bucky?”

A silver hand shot out of the shadows. It grabbed onto Steve’s collar and yanked him off the streets. Wordlessly, he dragged Steve further into the shadows of the ally.

“Bucky!” gasped Steve as he fought against the tight grip. “Not so tight. Just give me a second and we can talk, okay?”

The Winter Soldier threw Steve against a brick wall. He grabbed a fistful of Steve’s hair and pulled his head back, exposing Steve’s pale neck. “Listen here and listen good, punk,” he hissed. “I don’t know you. You got that? I don’t understand why you keep tailing me, and I understand less why I feel like I can trust you.”

Steve started at Bucky, his mouth agape. “You knew I was following you?” he asked, his heart beating fast in his chest.

“Don’t give me that look,” the Winter Soldier glowered, releasing his grip on Steve’s hair. “You’re not as subtle as you think you are.”

“Wasn’t trying to be. I wanted to get your attention.”

‘I wanted to bring you home.’

The Winter Soldier snorted. “Yeah, well you caught my attention alright.”

“And since you’re so good at attracting attention, I need a favor. You know this guy?” The Winter Soldier shoved a wrinkled picture into Steve’s face.

Steve recognized him immediately. “Yeah, he’s the senator that got shot last night. He was one of the people that got attacked last night.”

“ _ He _ is one of the Hydra supporters you missed,” growled The Winter Soldier, shoving the picture back into his heavy jacket. “I’ve been tracking him and about a dozen other Hydra sympathizers for months. Trying to clean up after the mess  _ you _ made, but your blue ass keeps getting me unwanted attention.”

Steve’s cheeks flushed. “Sorry?”

The Winter Soldier paid Steve no mind. “Point is, I tried to take down this guy last night, and something stopped me.”

“So that was you. I thought you and the Slasher were working together.”

The Winter Soldier shook his head. “No, I’m working along on this project. Don’t even know who this ‘Slasher’ person is. What I do know is something keeps coming after my ass and I need to get rid of it. It was there at the benefit last night, and it was there at the hospital this morning. Now I got it chasing me across the rooftops in broad daylight and I can’t work like this. ”

“What can I do?” asked Steve, desperate to keep his best friend within sight for as long as he could.

“Take it down for me,” said the Winter Soldier, pulling out a handgun to check the ammunition. “Whoever she is, she’s got reinforcements and she keeps sending them after me.”

“She?”

“That’s what her goons with red eyes keep sayin’,” grumbled the Winter Soldier. “Every time they’re near, I hear them muttering something about ‘Mother’. Has to be a female, right?”

“Yeah,” Steve said under his breath as he considered the new information. “If we’re playing the pronoun game, it would make sense.”

The Winter Soldier knocked the safety back on the gun. “Driving me nuts actually. Every time I turn around it’s ‘Mother this’ or ‘Mother that’. Always something weird having to do with Mother.”

“Mother certainly won’t be happy about this,” said a man with red eyes.

“Something like that?” asked Steve, pointing to a man that had wandered into their conversation.

“Yeah,” the Winter Soldier agreed with a curt nod.  “Just like that.”

Without warning, the man pulled out a pocket knife and lunged toward them. Steve squared himself, ready to fight, but the Winter Soldier had other ideas.

“Move, punk,” he growled, pushing Steve out of the way of the blade. The metal bounced off Bucky’s arm, giving him an opening to knock the knife out of the man’s hands. As the man scrambled from the knife, Bucky pushed him over and pulled Steve out of the alley and into the streets.

“What are you doing?” yelled Steve, running to keep up with his brainwashed friend. “We had him on the ropes.”

“Don’t get cocky, punk,” warned The Winter Soldier. “If they cut you with their knife, you become one of them.”

“What?” How was that possible?

“Saw a doctor got slashed back at the hospital,” explained the Winter Soldier, shoving past civilians so they could pass. “Next thing I know, he’s got those glowing red eyes that everyone else got and he’s trying to cut me down to size.”

The Winter Soldier screeched to a halt at the end of the block. Steve pointed to a slowly growing crowd in pursuit of them. “Like those guys?”

“Capture Barnes,” they mumbled under their breath, brandishing scissors, letter openers, and pocket knives in the air. “Capture Bucky Barnes.”

“Yeah,” grumbled the Winter Soldier, once again pulling Steve away from the fight.

Steve took a chance and looked behind them. In their wake, a mob of red-eyed people was slowly beginning to form. They ambled along through the crowd of screaming civilians like zombies, but there was an eerie organization to their pursuit.

In the movies Tony made Steve watch, zombies went after anyone and anything that moved. But these guys pressed on like they were a mission. They ran at different speeds, but no matter what was in their way, person or large obstacle, they didn’t deviate from their path. “How is that possible?” Steve asked, doing his best to follow Bucky’s breakneck speed.

“Don’t know. Don’t care. Your problem now,” the Winter Soldier grumbled. Eying a fire escape on the side of a brick building, the Winter Soldier jumped up. He caught himself on the third rung with his cybernetic arm and pulled himself up the ladder. “Just get them off my back and let me do my job,” he yelled down.

“Wait!” Steve grabbed onto Bucky’s leg. The Winter Soldier glared down at him, but Steve refused to let go. “Let me come with you,” he begged. “I can help you. So please, let me come with you.”

The Winter Soldier looked down at him, eyes narrow as he evaluated Steve. “No,” he said firmly. “I don’t know how, but I know that look in your eyes. You don’t want to help me. You want to save me for the sake of your own soul.” With a solid shake of his leg, the Winter Soldier threw off Steve’s grip. “Let me tell you something, punk, I don’t need to be saved,” he growled.

The Winter Soldier scrambled up a fire escape quick as a monkey, leaving Steve to fend off the attackers. “Keep them off my tail!” the Winter Soldier yelled over his shoulder before disappearing from sight.

Steve wanted to go after his best friend, but he forced the impulse back down. Bucky wasn’t quite ‘Bucky’ yet. He was still the Winter Soldier and he was on a mission. And whatever Steve could do to help Bucky with his mission, he would do it without hesitation. 

Find and get rid of the Slasher. Steve could do that.

All around him, people with red eyes gathered around like moths to a flame: men, women, children, professionals in suits, hobos and druggies in rags, people in full dress, people in partial dress bearing naked skin to the sun. And every single one of them held some sort of blade in their hand.

Not knowing what else to do, Steve grabbed a nearby plastic trash can lid, and held it between him and the red-eyed zombies as they entrapped him. If he was going down, he planned on taking a few of them with him.

The red-eyed people watched as Bucky ran off across the rooftops. Some of the ones at the edge of the mob took off after Bucky, but most of them stayed behind.

Then, something very interesting happened. The man in the tan jacket from earlier stumbled back. The red glow in his eyes dimmed and eventually vanished, leaving the stunned man blinking at Steve, completely clueless as to what had just transpired.

“Where am I?” asked a man in a tan jacket. He looked down at the bloody knife in his hands, dropping it like a hot potato. “What the hell is going on with me?”

Steve lowered the trashcan lid, just as stunned as the man. He listened as waves of confusion washed over the crowd, red eyes slowly being replaced with brown, blue, gray and green ones. “I- I don’t know,” was all Steve could say as he reached for his phone to call SHIELD for backup. “I really don’t know.”


	4. Just one mistake

Dark colored vans pulled up to the scene of the crime within minutes of Steve calling in the incident. Agents spilled out the back doors like water from an open dam.

“Check for gas or technological influence,” Hill ordered the field agents as they scrambled around like ants desperately trying to round up the confused civilians. “I want this entire area locked down in five minutes flat. I don’t want a repeat of the hospital incident.”

“You know it won’t be there,” said Steve in a tone low enough only for Maria’s ears.

Maria nodded. “I know. But I’d rather check and be right than have to write ‘supernatural influence’ on the paperwork.”

Clint whistled as got out the front seat of a van, looking around at the confused crowd of people being treated by SHIELD medical. “That’s a lot of zombies.”

“Can’t call ‘em zombies if they ain’t dead,” corrected Sam as he joined Clint.

“What else can we call ‘em?” asked Clint. “The _Walking Alive_ ? The _Red-Eyed Army of Doom_?”

Natasha rolled her eyes at the commentary. “So, tell us again, what happened?”

So much, and yet Steve felt like he knew so little. Steve took a deep breath to help focus his thoughts. “I saw Bucky,” he said, trying to slowly and coherently explain the chaos of the last ten minutes. “He said that one of the guys at the party is affiliated with Hydra.”

“Not surprising considering the deep pockets Hydra had its hands in. Did he have any proof?” asked Maria.

“No, he said he was taking care of that.” Steve didn’t bother elaborating on the _how_.

Maria nodded. “Then what?”

“The Slasher attacked me and Bucky.”

“Again?”

“In broad daylight?” Sam whistled. “So much for the bad guy team up. And considering the Slasher’s last few attacks, doesn’t really seem like his style.”

“ _Her_ style,” corrected Steve. “And they’re not working together. Form the sounds of it, Bucky and the Slasher both being at the benefit last night was just a coincidence.”

Natasha raised a curious eyebrow. “Her?”

Steve nodded. “The Slasher is a woman.”

“Wait, you saw her?” Clint squawked in disbelief.

“Sort of. I saw her effects.”

“Okay.” Maria reached for her phone. “Give me a description. I’ll put out an APB and then-”

“I can’t,” interrupted Steve.

Maria glared at him. “What do you mean, ‘you can’t’. You’re being awfully cryptic today, Steve.”

“I can’t tell you what she looks like because I didn’t actually see her.”

Clint choked back a laugh. “So, let me get this straight, the Slasher attacked you and Barnes, in broad daylight, but you didn’t get a good look at her. Flawless logic Cap. I’m sure it’ll look excellent in the report we’ll have to write later.”

“If you just give me a second to explain,” Steve said, growing tired of the constant interruptions.

Clint rolled his eyes. “Fine,” he said, dismissing Steve’s anger with a wave of his hand.

Steve took a calming breath, trying to focus on getting the facts out. “The Slasher isn’t just one person. They’re a whole bunch of people."                               

“Yeah,” confirmed Sam. “We figured as much on our own. Saw the security footage from the hospital and everything. Only thing that made sense considering there were at least two dozen people with red eyes running round the hospital at light speed.”

“But we didn’t know was that the Slasher operates on some kind of hive mind mentality with someone named ‘Mother’ at the head. At least, we assume she does,”

“So… mind control?” Clint asked cautiously.

Maria still seemed skeptical. “And you know this because-”

“When the Slasher attacked me and Bucky, the guy in the tan jacket  said something about Mother not being happy,” explained Steve.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” asked Natasha.

“Don’t know,” admitted Steve. “But it’s a start.”

“You actually want to follow this line of questioning?” asked Sam in disbelief.

“Not like we have much else to go off of,” said Maria. “Our scientists looked into the victims at the hospital. They said whatever caused the patients to have red eyes, there was no technological or chemical interference.”

“So what?” asked Clint. “We looking at magic now?”

Maria shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe.”

Clint groaned. “Goddamn mind control magic. Fucking hate this stuff.”

If Tony was here, Steve knew he would agree.

“What next?” asked Natasha. “It’s not like we have much experience with magical influence outside of Loki.”

“We look for an anchor,” surmised Maria. “Loki had his staff with the mind stone. It would only make sense for this _Mother_ to have something as well.”

“Maybe some type of blade?” offered Steve.

“What makes you say that?” asked Natasha.

“The cutting,” Steve said, finally beginning to connect some of the dots as he thought aloud. “Bucky said I couldn’t get cut by their blade or else I become one of them. If it’s how she spreads her influence, it would make sense that a blade be her anchor.”

From the wrinkle in Clint’s brow, he clearly had doubts. “Are we really going to trust an amnesic assassin for our information?”

“What? You want to get cut just to prove a point?” Natasha said with a hard nudge into Clint’s side.

“Hey, I did my time as a mind controlled zombie. Time for someone else to take one for the team,” Clint said, holding his hands up in his defense.

“The people we found roaming around the hospital did have cuts unexplained cuts on their body after the attack. But we assumed it was because they were running around with sharp objects,” muttered Maria, accounting Steve’s suggestion into consideration.

Sam nodded in agreement. “It would certainly explain the ‘why’ of the whole situation. Guess we should start looking into it.”

“What about the people that came in at the very beginning of the Slasher incidents? Didn’t Clint say they had deep cuts on their body?” asked Steve.

Clint frowned, considering the implications. “The news and forums online did say something about minor lacerations,” he mumbled under his breath.

“I’ll have someone look into it,” said Maria, her mind made up.

“Have your agents look at the patients that came in from the benefit last night,” suggested Steve. “From the video footage, we know the Slasher was there, question is how much damage did she do.”

“My guess, enough.” Clint gently nudged the group and pointed to a well-dressed man as he was escorted into the back of a SHIELD vehicle. “I recognize that guy from the party last night.”

Natasha’s brow furrowed. “Didn’t we take everyone that was injured into custody?”

“If it was small enough, he could have hidden it,” Maria said with an exhausted grumble. “Tony Stark isn’t the only person in the universe who avoids medical like the plague.”

“And we did only ask for statements for those that didn’t get hurt in the attack,” Clint muttered, regretful look in his eye.

Maria clicked on her com unit. “Call up everyone on the guest list from last night. And call in the victims of the early cases. I want every single person hit by the Slasher in quarantine, ASAP.”

“Agent Hill.” Steve approached Maria, worry in his voice. “Isn’t it safe to assume by the way this thing spreads, it might be too little too late?”

“Maybe,” was her honest reply. “But we won’t know the full extent of the Slasher’s powers until she activates them again. Best we can do is contain the situation and hope for the best.”

“What if they refuse to come in?” asked Natasha. “There’s no evidence we can use to hold them. We’re relying purely on speculation and that won’t get us very far if we have to keep them more than a few hours.”

“You thinking of someone in particular?” asked Maria.

“I certainly am,” volunteered Clint.

Steve could too, and he wasn’t happy about who it was.

“Stark.”

Just hearing Tony’s name made Steve want to sink into the shadows and never come out. In all the excitement for the past twenty-four hours, he had forgotten to consider that Tony might have gotten cut by the Slasher last night. Not only that, but Tony had disappeared from the hospital right around the same time that the Slasher appeared again. Coincidence, maybe. But with Tony’s odd behavior as of late, an impending feeling of dread was beginning to form in the bottom of Steve’s gut.

“We all know he won’t come easy. What do you suggest we do?” Clint asked.

Maria glared at Clint, but gave him two words of advice. “Persuade him.”

* * *

 

“Okay, I’m here. Where’s this alien tech you want me to take a look at?” asked Tony as the door to one of SHIELD’s interrogation room closed behind him.

“Hello again Stark.”

“Agent Hill,” Tony said in casual greeting. “Why do I get the feeling I’ve been lied to?”

Maria didn’t pay Tony’s jab any mind. “Have a seat Stark,” she said, motioning to a steel chair.

Tony glared at her from across the table, daring her to back down. She didn’t. “Only because I want to,” he finally said before pulling out the seat.

Steve stared down at Tony through the one way mirror of the observation room. Buttoned up in his dark blue uniform, that Tony had personally made for him, with his shield on his back, Steve should have felt confident knowing that this was the right thing to do. He was properly equipped and was ready for anything this time. And by calling Tony in, by detaining potential Slashers, he was making the world a safer place. He was taking care of the Slasher just like Bucky had asked.

So why didn’t this feel right. They were at SHIELD headquarters, one of the safest places in the world. One of the hardest places for bad guys to get in or out. There were hundreds of SHIELD agents swirling floors beneath him, armed and at the ready as they gathered hundreds of potential Slasher agents into a quarantined area. They were containing the Slasher for good, so why was dread gnawing away at his gut at the sight on Tony under too bright florescent lights?

Natasha slipped into the observation room, closing the door behind her.

“How are Sam and Clint taking guard duty?” asked Steve, his eyes never leaving Tony.

Natasha shrugged. “Not too happy, but somebody’s got to look after all those civilians we have in the hold.” She stood by his side, looking into the room with critical eyes. “Did I miss anything?”

“No,” said Steve, his voice tense. “They’re just about to get started.”

Maria went first. “Let me get straight to the point, Stark. What happened at the benefit last night?”

Tony raised an inquisitive eyebrow. “All this attention for a simple alibi? Hill you shouldn’t have?”

“You’re the one that checked yourself out of medical early, and now we have a serial assailant on the loose,” said Maria, unphased. “I’m just doing my job to consider all angles.”

“From the number of people I saw being escorted into cells; I’d say you’re doing a bang up job,” said Tony with a suggestive lit to his smile.

Maria, on the other hand, was not as easily ruffled. “Answers Stark.”

Tony shrugged and leaned back in his seat. “An explosion went off. People were injured. I saw Barnes shooting at people. I went after Barnes.”

“On your own?” asked Maria, not minding the lack of details.

“What was I supposed to do?” asked Tony. “Take care of the injured as I wait for Mr. Knight in Shining Armor to come rescue the princess? You know me better than that, Hill. You used to work for me.”

“I worked for Ms. Potts.”

“But I signed your paychecks.”

“You’re deflecting.”

“I’m very good at deflecting.”

“You’re very good at annoying me.”

“You’re very easy to annoy.”

Maria snorted in amusement.

“He’s hiding something,” Natasha observed.

“Tony’s been hiding something from the beginning,” Steve said, grateful that he wasn’t the only one who saw Tony talking hard and fast to hide his insecurity. “Question is; what is it?”

“So,” Maria twirled her pen as she changed subjects. “You followed Barnes.”

“Already established that.”

“Haven’t answered the ‘why’. Why don’t you walk me through it?” She pulled out a tablet and began to read. “Explosives went off at exactly 7:52 last night. Mostly gas and non lethal shrapnel, but the force of the explosion caused multiple windows and glass items to shatter. Shots were reported and multiple bullet holes were found in the windows. SHIELD arrived on the scene at 8:26 and determined that the shots were fired from the next building over.”

“So?”

“News crews on the scene couldn’t see into the building because of the cloud of dust. Looking out from the inside must have been just as hard, if not harder.”

“Your point?”

Maria leaned forward over the table. “How did you see where Barnes through all that?”

Tony didn’t miss a beat. “There’s this mysterious technology called glasses, Agent. Maybe you’ve heard of it? Not all of us can keep 20/20 vision as we continue to age.” he said, casually digging his hands into his pockets.

“And what happened to your glasses on the way back?”

“I took them off,” said Tony with a casual shrug. “Not every bodily enhancement I build needs to be attached with surgery.”

“He’s lying,” Steve said. Tony would never wear anything except sunglasses out in public. Maybe he’d put on a pair of goggles, but that was in the lab, in private, where it was just the two of them working to the sound of rock music and the whirling gears of robots.

“I know,” said Natasha. “But why?”

“But, you did see him, correct?” Maria asked, continuing her line of questioning. “Then why did you go after him? You’re a smart man Stark. You must have known the odds. Super soldier versus regular human, the odds aren’t that great.”

Tony shrugged. “Never stopped me before.”

“He killed your parents. He’s an armed and deadly assassin with a hit count a mile long , I would think that’s more than enough of a reason not to peruse him, don’t you?”

“What? Is revenge such a commonplace motivation that it doesn’t count anymore?”

Maria eyed him carefully. “You’re not the vengeful type.”

Tony scoffed. “If you think that, then you really don’t know me as well as you think you do, Agent.”

“Maybe,” Maria admitted. “But, I know people, Stark. And I know that the look in your eye isn’t one of vengeance. You went after him because of something else. So tell me, what was it?”

Tony frowned. His eyes flickered to the side of Maria’s head and toward the one-way mirror. A breath caught in Steve’s throat as Tony looked past the glass and straight into Steve’s eyes. Brown eyes bore icy cold determination into Steve’s soul, sending a shiver down his spine.

With shaky breath, Steve tried to calm his racing heart. Tony didn’t need to say a word for Steve to understand what it meant. It told him exactly what Tony was willing to do for Steve and why. The willingness and acceptance to sacrifice anything and everything for one person, it made Steve’s chest ache. It made him weak in the knees. But more than that, it scared him.

Passion was one thing. In the dark of Tony’s eyes, Steve saw an unnatural, unconditional, feral like obsession that scared Steve to the bone.

“Get to the point, Hill. Otherwise I’m calling my lawyer.” Tony said, voice cold. “Should have called her the second I walked in, but hey, I guess I’m feeling gracious today. Not quite sure how much longer that’ll last.”

“Fine,” said Maria, more than happy to play Tony’s game. “So you went after him. How far did you get?”

“Far as 145th. On the way to Yankee Stadium. Lost him after that.”

Maria stopped twirling her pen.

“Oh Tony,” Natasha sighed. “What have you done?”

“That’s a long way to run Stark,” said Maria, leaning forward. “How long would that take a normal, non-super serum human?  Two hours or so?”

Tony stilled. His face darkened in the already dim light. Each word he said seemed to dig his grave a little deeper. “Called the armor.”

“You didn’t have it when I saw you at the Plaza.”

“Sent it back to the tower.”

Maria gave Tony a smug smile. “Then you don’t mind if I check Friday’s command log.” Mara, beginning to tap away on her tablet.

A firm hand grabbed the tablet and pulled it down to the table with a clatter. “You need a warrant for that, Agent. And I’m not quite sure you know what you’re chasing after,” warned Tony.

“Maybe not,” confessed Maria. “But what you gave me just now, it’s enough to hold you for a few hours and do some real damage.”

Her thumb tapped a button. Two large SHIELD agents opened the door, ready to escort Tony away.

“Take him to the Hulk containment chamber. I don’t want him near anything more technologically advanced than a roll of toilet paper.”

* * *

 

As soon as Tony was hastily ushered out of the room, Steve made his way in to confront Maria.

“And what, may I ask, do you think you’re going to get out of this?” Steve asked as he followed Maria out into the hall.

“Data from his computers if we’re fast enough,” said Maria as she typed a few last minute notes into a tablet. “But knowing Stark, he’ll have the place on lock down before we even knock on the door.” She handed the tablet off to a nearby agent.

Steve’s brow wrinkled in confusion. That didn’t make any sense. “If you knew you wouldn’t get anything out of him, why arrest him?”

“Because we don’t know if he’s compromised like the others,” Maria calmly replied, as if accusing a friend and ex-employer of deception was an everyday occurrence. “Like anyone else at that party, he could be under the influence of the Slasher and never even know it. And unless I can pin something on him, he’ll slip through our fingers like a fish.”

“SHIELD has already been taken over by Hydra, I’d rather not repeat the experience with magically influenced spies.”

Steve’s stomach tightened into a knot. “But, this is Tony we’re talking about. You really think he would do that?” he asked.

Maria stopped in her tracks and let out a heavy sigh. “Honestly, I don’t know Steve. Mind control is tricky business. Our knowledge about supernatural influences only goes as far as Loki and Wanda. And even then, we hit roadblocks after a few questions.”

“Well, it can’t be a full blow mind control like Loki,” offered Natasha, coming up behind them. “Otherwise the victim’s eyes would be red all the time.”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” said Maria. “Wanda’s power looks and acts different from Loki. What’s to say the Slasher’s power is just as different?”

Maria shrugged. “Whatever. I honestly don’t care if we’re dealing with a Loki situation or something new. I want the Slasher behind bars and I want to know what Tony is hiding.”

‘Same here,’ thought Steve.Not only for his own peace of mind, but for Bucky and Tony too.

“Maybe he’s covering for Saika,” suggested Natasha. “Remember, Steve thought Tony was taking her to the party, but when I looked at the guest list, her name didn’t appear anywhere.”

“Who’s Saika?” asked Maria.

“Tony’s new girl.”

“Oh, didn’t know he had someone new after Pepper.” Maria sounded genuinely interested. “How long have they been dating?”

“A couple months. They met when Tony went to Japan on business.”

“But he didn’t hook up with Rumiko? I’m surprised. I thought they had a common business interest.”

“Can we focus, please?” Steve snapped, his patience running thin.

“Look,” he said, taking a breath to calm his nerves. “Tony, he wouldn’t lie to cover for some girl. And he wouldn’t lie without good reason. That’s just not him.”

“And how do you know that Steve?” asked Maria with a critical look. “How can you be so sure about what he would or wouldn’t do?”

Steve’s body stiffened. He pulled his shoulders back and schooled his face into a blank expression. “I just do,” he said. “You saw the look he gave me back there.”

“I did,” she said with a nod. “But you have to remember, Stark is a professional liar. He’s a showman, a con artist. He’ll say whatever needs to be said to get his way. Besides, we’re dealing with an alien entity here that can control hundreds of people. For all we know, it’s been whispering sweet nothings in Stark’s ear as it infects SHIELD, taking us down one by one while we twiddle our fingers doing nothing.”

“Agent Hill,” a voice squawked over her radio.

Maria picked up with an indignant, “What?”

“Security hasn’t checked in. They were supposed to radio us the moment Stark was mobile, but all we’re getting down here is radio silence.”

Steve’s heart stopped. That wasn’t good.

Maria seemed to agree. “Go to red alert.”

Red lights above their heads began to flash as word spread through the compound.

“I want a sweep of all floors,” barked Maria. “Teams of three, all lines open. Anyone with red eye, I want them tranquilized, marked, and quarantined.  I want two teams on my floor looking for Stark. He’s priority one. Captain!”

Maria’s voice broke Steve from his panicked trance.

“You and Romanoff are with me.”

Steve nodded, grabbing his shield off his back. Natasha already had her firearm at her side, ready to go.

* * *

 

Together, they raced down the halls and down toward the containment unit.

They were less than two klicks away from their destination when Steve heard signs of trouble. They had their backs against a wall, ready to round a corner when an agent sailed through the air and landed with a heavy thud a few feet away.

Maria jumped into action. She bolted around the corner, gun aimed and ready.

“Stand down,” she yelled.

Steve peaked around just in time to see another SHIELD agent come running down the hall toward Maria. Eyes glowing red, he jumped Maria and promptly stabbed her in the shoulder.

Maria screamed in pain. Both hands still on the gun, she used her weight to throw the agent off her and onto the ground with a thud.

“Hill!”

“I’m fine,” she groaned, pressing a hand around the wound to slow down the bleeding.

“You sure?”

Maria stumbled back. Steve was there in seconds to keep her steady. “Yeah,” she gasped, eyes slightly unfocused. “Just a little shocked.”

Natasha took off toward the containment unit, gun trained at the ground.

Maria pushed herself back up and gestured to the fallen SHIELD agents. “Check on them.”

Steve went over to the fallen bodies. The agent who had been thrown was fine. Out for the count, but fine. The agent that attacked Hill was also stunned, but his body was decorated with fresh slashes from a sharp blade.

Didn’t take much to connect the dots.

The Slasher was in the building. And she wasn’t happy.

“We need to stick together. We need to get Natasha back here as soon as possible,” said Steve. He stood up to follow his friend, but he noticed that Maria was disturbingly silent.

She just stood in the middle of the hall. The hand on her shoulder, stopping the blood, was now hanging at her side, fresh red liquid dripping down her fingers and onto the floor. She slowly swayed back and forth to a silent rhythm.

“Agent Hill?” Steve carefully approached her.

Maria’s eyes glowed bright red. Her mouth hung open and slack jawed. “Protect Mother,” she murmured as Steve waved a hand in front of her face. “Protect Mother.”

Steve’s stomach dropped. He was too late. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

He wanted to help. He wanted to sit her down and take care of her wound before she bled to death, but remembering his last encounter with the red-eyed zombies, he thought twice about it. For the moment, Maria seemed safe. She wasn’t attacking anyone like the civilians did when he met up with Bucky, and the knife in her shoulder was stopping some of the blood from leaking out.

“I’ll be back,” Steve promised as he slowly backed away from Maria. “I promise, once I find Natasha, I’ll come back for you.”

Steve ran after Natasha as hard as he could, pushing himself to his full super solider limit, shield at his side. He found her, not seconds later, atop another agent with a knife at his throat.

“Natasha!”

She turned to look at him. Her red eyes narrowed at the sight of Steve’s shield.

Steve stumbled under the weight of another failure. Once again, he was too late. Once again, he had failed to protect his friends.

Natasha left the unconscious agent on the ground and lumbered toward Steve, heartless determination warping her face into a grim frown.

Steve held up his shield. “Natasha,” Steve begged, trying to reason with her. But it was no use.

Blade in hand, she lashed out at him. A stab to the left, a cut to the right, she was seconds behind him no matter how quickly Steve dodged.

Quick as he could, he knocked the knife out of her hand with the curve of his shield. He pushed her into a wall, holding her arm behind her back.

“Wake up Natasha! It’s me,” he said, pushing her head against the wall.

Natasha screamed in anger. She jabbed the heel of her boot into Steve’s foot. He yelped in pain and his grip loosened for a second.

She slipped free and snaked her way around his body. Using a move Steve had seen her use on hundreds of others, Natasha flipped him over and down on his back.

Steve grunted on impact, the back of his head throbbing in pain. He was about to jump back up into action when a cold metal pressed up against his throat.

Natasha pinned him to the ground, staring at him with soulless red eyes. “Natasha, please,” he begged her with what could be his last words. “Don’t do this.”

Unmoved by the sentiment, she pressed the knife into his flesh. Seconds away from breaking skin, a voice yelled, “Stop!” and she stopped.

Immediately, the aggression drained from her body. For a second, Natasha sat, dormant like a doll. Then, she stood up, dropped her knife, and turned her back to Steve.

Gingerly, Steve reached for his throat and check that the skin was still intact. It was. Steve let out a sigh of relief, but it wasn’t as loud as the sigh of his savior.

“Oh thank god,” gasped Tony, pushing his way into Steve’s space. “She didn’t hurt you did she?” he asked, inspecting his throat and face for signs of injury.

“Tony?”

Tony’s red eyes glowed with happiness. His shirt had been cut open, and in one hand, he held a blood stained sword. “I don’t know what I would do if she hurt you. I’m having enough trouble controlling her as it is. Thank god her children let me know where you were before it was too late.”

“Tony? What’s going on?” asked a bewildered Steve.

“Mother,” a female SHIELD agent with a slash across her chest appeared at Natasha’s side. “We’ve secured a vehicle. We should leave now before reinforcements come.”

“Just- just give me a minute,” Tony grunted. His eyes squeezed shut as if he was trying very hard to concentrate.

“We must go,” agreed Natasha. “Every second we waste here is another second they have to organize their soldiers. We must move now while our army is larger than theirs.

“Christ you’re so noisy sometimes,” groaned Tony, holding his head. He moved away from Steve to address the two women. “Can’t you give me a moment to regroup and regain control so you all don’t go on a rampage at the drop of a hat?”

The SHIELD agent tilted her head and looked past Tony. “You’re protecting him,” she said, looking directly at Steve. “Why?”

Tony’s face darkened. “It’s none of your concern.”

“You should make him your daughter, like us,” suggested the agent. “He looks strong. You need strong daughters.”

“No, I really don’t,” Tony said, trying to shut down the conversation.

But she wasn’t having any of it. “Why?” she asked. “We know how you feel about him. You love him.”

The size of Tony’s glowing eyes grew bigger. “Okay, not something I want to advertise in this situation. You really need to stop now.”

“You want to touch him,” said the agent. “You want to treasure him. You want to kiss him. You want to claim every part of him.”

“Stop it,” he commanded.

She didn’t listen. “You want to make love to him. You want to fuck him so bad that he won’t be able to stand the next morning. You want to leave him wide open, whining and begging for every single drop of your attention. You want to lock him up like a pet and keep him to yourself. You want to claim every single cell of his body so his world revolves around you, just like your world revolves around him.”

“Saika, you need to stop that right now. That’s an order!”

“You should cut him,” she said casually. “Cut him so he knows how much you love him. So he knows how much we love humanity. Cut him so we can share our love with him.”

Without warning, Tony picked up the woman. He held her by the neck so her feet dangled in the air. “That’s enough out of you,” he growled, sweat beading across his brow. “Too much Saika in you and not enough me. Let’s see if we can’t fix that with a hard reset.” With a ruthless flick of his sword, Tony cut the woman across her stomach.

“No!” Steve screamed as the woman hung lifeless in Tony’s hand.

Tony dropped the unmoving agent to the floor. He turned around to look at Steve, his face white with panic. “Steve,” he said, putting too much effort into keeping his voice calm and reassuring.

“It’s not what it looks like, I swear.”

“The hell it isn’t you fucking monster.”

“Steve.” Tony kept his voice low and gentle as if talking to a scared animal. “I promise you, I can explain everything.”

“Get away from me you monster.” Steve threw his shield straight at Tony. Tony deflected it with his sword and sent it straight back to Steve.

Tony reached out, as if trying to reassure a child. “I swear she’s fine. Just give me a second and I’ll explain everything.”

“I’m not interested in hearing excuses from a maniac like you.”

“But Steve, I-” And there it was again; that unconditional, selfless affection in his eyes that Steve couldn’t stand. It should have been comforting, but it burned at Steve’s heart like a thousand cattle prods.

How could Tony look at him with such honest and open eyes? Steve had failed so many people. He had failed Bucky all those years ago on the train. He had failed to protect Tony from the Winter Soldier at the benefit. He had failed to protect both Maria and Natasha from the Slasher.

Steve wanted Tony to stop. So he said that one thing he knew would cut deep enough to make that look disappear for good.

“I hate you!” he screamed at the top of his lungs.

The result was instantons. The red in Tony’s eyes grew to the size of saucers. The outreached hand froze in the air and slowly dropped to Tony’s side. He began to shake so hard it looked like he would vibrate out of his clothes. He crumpled down into a ball, holding his head in his hands for dear life.

Steve immediately regretted everything. “Tony,” he gently said, instinctively reaching out a hand.

Tony opened his mouth and an inhuman screamed assaulted Steve’s senses.

Steve reeled back, covering his ears as best as possible. It was worse than nails on a chalkboard. The sound coming out of Tony’s mouth was every high pitched squeak, squeal, and scream all rolled into a discord of noise.

“Tony!” Steve yelled over the noise. “You have to stop!” And just like that, it did.

As Steve lowered his hands, quiet chant began to grow in the silence.

“Love,” murmured Natasha, looking a little more spaced out than before. “I love you.”

“Love you,” mumbled the agent on the floor as she slowly righted herself. “Love you.”

“Love,” Maira said, as she stumbled into the room, blood dripping down her arm and off her fingers with each slow step she took. “I love you.”

More people began joining them in the room, all of them chanting the same thing. “Love. Love. Love you. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. I love you. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love you.”

Soon, Steve was surrounded by the shuffling horde on all sides, all chanting the same thing. “Love you. Love you. I love you. Love you. Love you.”

“Tony, what’s going on?” Steve asked, his eyes darting around for an exit as the crowd closed in around him.

“You rejected Mother’s love,” explained Natasha.

“You made Mother sad,” said Maria.

“But that’s okay,” reassured a faceless SHIELD agent.

“Now, we can go out into the world and love humanity the way Mother wants.”

“You mean Tony?”

A faceless civilian shook her head. “Not Tony, Saika.”

The name sent a shiver down Steve’s spine. “Who’s Saika?” demanded Steve, looking for a faced to identify in the crowd. “And what does she want?”

“Saika is our Mother,” answered an agent.

“Long ago, she fell in love with humanity.”

“She loved humanity so much she wanted to share her love with the world,” said a civilian with a smile.

“How?” asked Steve with a flinch. He was already regretting the question.

“How do you think?” asked a civilian with a sick smirk.

“Human can love in so many ways. It made Mother envious.”

“Humans can hug,” said an agent.

“Humans can kiss.”

“But Mother is a sword,” a civilian lamented.

“Swords can only cut.”

“So the only way we can show humanity our love,” said Tony, placing the cool edge of his sword up against the edge of Steve’s jaw, “is by carving our love into every single one of them.”

Tony swung back to chop Steve’s head off, manic grin stretched over his face. Steve dodged at the last second, holding his shield between him and Tony.

Tony stumbled forward like a drunk, but quickly recovered. He charged at Steve, weapon trained on the soldier. Using his shield, Steve rebuffed the attack and sent Tony flying into wall of followers encircling them.

“I won’t let you do that,” Steve growled as Tony regained his footing. “I won’t let you hurt more innocent people.”

Tony let out a laugh that chilled Steve to the bone. It sounded so heartless and so unlike Tony’s quiet chuckle. “You think I’m hurting them?” asked Tony, eyes wide with madness. “I’m just cutting them with my love.”

“You of all people should how know deep love can cut,” he said, encroaching on Steve’s space until he was cornered up against a wall of people. “After all, you cut me with your love every day you looked for Barnes.”

“What are you talking about?”

Tony chuckled. “I won’t bother explaining something so simple to you, Steve. Soon as I cut you, you’ll know. You’ll know everything.”

Just then, a sharp clatter came from Steve’s left. He looked just in time to see a small smoke bomb break and hiss as a thick, grey cloud billowed out of the ball. The room quickly filled with smoke, leaving the inhabitants coughing for air. Now was Steve’s chance.

But before he could make a break for it, a small hand grabbed his arm. The hand dragged him out of the circle of coughing red eyes and through the door to the fire escape.

“You need to go, now!” ordered Natasha, pushing him toward the stairs.

Steve stumbled, but held tight onto Natasha’s hand. “I’m not leaving without you Natasha. Not again.”

“I’m sorry Steve,” apologized Natasha. Her eyes were still red. “It’s too late for us.” Natasha’s voice was so gentle as she traced the side of his face with delicate fingers. It was a very un-Natasha move. It was almost as if-

“Tony?”

“We don’t have much time before they figure out where you went,” said Tony, grazing his thumb across Steve’s cheekbone. “You’re strong. Saika wants you because you’re so strong, and let’s be honest, she might be a bit jealous because I love you so much.”

Steve’s heart should have fluttered at the confession. Instead, a cold shiver ran across his skin. “You love me?”

Tony nodded. “Just remember, everything I did, I did for you.”

Natasha squeezed her eyes shut. She cried out in pain, crumpling into a ball. Tears streamed down her face as she tried to pull the hair out of her head. “Go!” she screamed.

Steve didn’t question her. He ran. He ran as hard as he could up the stairs and away from the red eyed army as they swarmed after him up the stairs.

“Falcon, come in,” he called over the coms.

“Falcon here,” Sam’s refreshingly familiar voice came over the line. “You seeing this Cap?”

“Kinda in the middle of it to be honest,” he said, looking up to see a group of people with red eyes a dozen flights up, staring down at him. “How are you holding up?”

“Trying to keep them in the building, but it’s not working,” reported Sam. “Clint went to try and get reinforcements.”

“Hate to break it to you, but I don’t think they’re going to show. Think you could pick me up?”

“Sure,” said Sam. Steve could hear the sound of gunfire over the coms. He prayed Sam was just using tranquilizer shots. “What’s your twenty?”

Steve looked at the number on the door as he shoved his way onto the floor. Across the hall, he saw a large glass window. “Sixty first floor. North side. I’ll be waiting.”

“Sixty first? What are you- No. Don’t do it Cap,” warned Sam.

“See you in a few.” Steve clicked off his com.

With the clamor of hundreds of feet on metal stairs echoing up the building, and people billowing through the small doorway like an angry, dark cloud, Steve took off toward the window like a bolt. A second before he hit the window, Steve held his shield up above his head and slammed into the glass. The pane shattered on impact, and Steve took a nosedive out of the window.

“Wilson!” Steve yelled as the wind screamed past his ears.

A hand grabbed his and abruptly pulled Steve out of the dangerous dive.

“You ever get tired of throwing yourself off of building hoping that someone will catch you?” asked Sam as he pulled Steve into a bear hug.

Steve shook his head as he buried himself close to Sam’s chest. “Tony never complains. Tony always catches me,” he mumbled as he watched the red eyed people gather around the broken window and curse at Steve’s escape.

“You think there’s a reason why?”

Steve didn’t answer. Thankfully, Sam didn’t probe as he called Clint over the coms for meeting coordinates.


	5. Just one night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains rape/non-con. If this is a squick or a trigger, the section to skip begins with, "Rolling the sleeves of his well-pressed suit up, Tony opened the locked door of his bedroom." and is after the art. The rape/non-con section will be over after the section break.
> 
> Please know that the author, artist, betas, and all those affiliated in making this story possible do no support rape or abusive relationships. This scene is here for character development/insight and is not in support or promotion of rape or abusive relationships.

A few months prior…

* * *

 

Tony took the emergency call in his hotel bedroom. The light from the setting sun over the skyline of Ikebukuro, Japan was decent enough, and he knew the person on the other end wouldn’t mind the view as Tony got dressed.

“So,” drawled Tony as he buttoned up the cuffs on his dress shirt. “How’d the mission go?” Tony already knew the answer by the lines on Steve’s face.

“I need you to fix the Avenjet,” Steve said, the frustration in his voice leaking through the video.

Tony raised an eyebrow in sudden interest. Who knew a one armed super solider could do that much damage. “That bad, huh?”

Steve ignored the question. “When will you and Natasha be back from Japan?”

“Not for another couple of days,” Tony said, shrugging on a jacket. “Still have some wining and dining to do with the locals here.”

“Can’t you skip out on it?”

“Hey, company dinners are very important to Japanese office workers.”

Steve’s frowned deepened. “But I need you and Natasha here.”

Tony’s heart fluttered at the thought of Steve needing him, but he pushed down his feelings knowing full well that Steve didn’t need Tony _that_ way. “Look, Cap, as much as I love you, I can’t skip out on this. There are reasons, professional and cultural reasons why I can’t skip out, but it’ll take too long to explain to you. And by looking at the bags under your eyes, don’t know if you have the patience.”

Steve glared at him, almost daring Tony to change his mind. Tony didn’t. Steve was stubborn, but so was Tony. He could match Steve’s stubbornness any day of the week if he really wanted to.

Finally giving up, Steve grumbled, “Just let me know when you get back. I’m taking one of SHIELD’s quinjets and going back out.”

The video shut down with a soft whistle. “Nice talking to you too Captain Cold Shoulder,” muttered Tony as he walked out of the bedroom.

Natasha was waiting for him in the living room, lounged out on a soft looking red sofa.

“So, how’s the husband,” she asked, absentmindedly flipping through a Japanese fashion magazine.

Tony rolled his eyes. “Very funny, Natasha.”

She looked up from her magazine. “I wasn’t trying to be.”

Tony sighed. “He’s stressed, what do you expect? This mission to find Barnes is driving him coo coo for coco puffs. And he’s pulling me into it too.”

“You could always say no,” suggested Natasha. “SHIELD does have resources at his disposal.”

“I don’t trust SHIELD,” Tony grumbled. He still wasn’t over the fact that the SHIELD AI put him on a hit list. He had specifically programed SHIELD tech not to do stupid shit like that. But leave it to Fury to let his programmers get their grubby hands in places where they don’t belong and mess with perfection.

“Speaking of which,” he said, changing the subject. “Shouldn’t you be looking for Sergeant Forget Me Not?”

Natasha shrugged. “Steve’s got Sam with him. They’ll be fine on their own. What I’m more worried about is you. How are you doing Tony?”

“Peachy, thanks for asking. Could you pass me that tie?” he asked, pointing at the blue silk tie lying over the back of an empty chair.

Natasha rolled her eyes. “You’re a terrible liar Stark. Doesn’t take a world class spy to see that,” she said, holding the dark blue tie out at arm’s length.

“Okay then, tell me,” Tony challenged her, swiping the tie out of her hands. “What’s bothering me, oh wise assassin friend of mine who could kill me with a paperclip and a rubber band? Is it work? Did my break up with Pepper finally get the best of me? Steve’s Steveness?”

“Bucky.”

Tony snorted in indignation. “You’d be on edge too if he killed your parents.”

“That’s not what I mean,” Natasha said, giving Tony a knowing look.

Tony rolled his eyes. “Barnes gives Steve tunnel vision,” Tony said, letting his mouth run while he tried to knot the blue tie. “He can’t think straight whenever Barnes is involved. Doesn’t matter how deadly or dangerous the situation is, Steve will go in guns blazing if it means saving Barnes.”

“And he doesn’t do that for you? Is that what you’re jealous about?” asked Natasha.

Tony tried not to laugh. “Jealousy implies that I’m emotionally invested in Steve’s wellbeing.”

“Aren't you?”

Tony let out a tired sigh, half made knot hanging around his neck. “Steve hasn’t been the same since Barnes came back. And I don’t mean for the better,” he confessed. He hadn’t been the only one to notice Steve’s deteriorating health, had he? “Steve needs to get his head out of his ass and realize there’s more to life than trying to make up for the past.”

“But he won’t,” Tony sneered, resuming the battle with the stubborn blue accessory. “As long as Bucky is in the picture, he’ll continue on this stupid suicidal streak until he feels he’s made amends. But you and I know that won’t happen. No matter what Steve does, it’ll never be enough for dear old Bucky Barnes. And as much as it grinds my gears knowing that, Bucky is here to stay. And no amount praying or begging will make him go away.”

“So instead, you pine like a teenager, doing things to make Steve happy, hoping he’ll give you some form of attention? Brilliant strategy, Stark.”

Tony shrugged as he tightened the knot around his throat. “Better than the alternative.”

“What’s that?” she asked.

“Doing nothing or killing him myself.”

“Stark,” Natasha warned, pushing herself forward in her char. “Don’t you dare-”

“Too late,” crooned Tony, tossing the worry over his shoulder like an evening jacket. “Already made up my mind. I’m off to drown my sorrows with people I can drink under the table. See you after the second party.”

Or maybe the third after dinner party. Never knew with Japanese businessmen. They worked hard, but they also partied pretty damn hard.

* * *

 

They had two parties; the actual two hour dinner party, and a second two hour karaoke session. But just because Tony only attended two parties, it didn’t mean he couldn’t get rip roaring drunk with his Japanese co-workers. Bad decision number one.

“Steve,” Tony drunkenly crooned into his cell phone as he entertained bad decision number two. “When are you coming home? I miss you. Stark Tower feels so empty without you. Stop chasing after the past and come home to my bed. It’s nice and soft, and it’s got me in it.”

The dead phone fumbled out of his drunken hands. Tony stumbled after it, the slick box slipping out of his fingers like a bar of soap. He chased it into a dark alley, where he caught it just seconds before the glass screen hit the rocky ground.

Tony let out a sigh of relief, cradling the blank screen between his shoulder and flushed ear.

“You know I’d do anything for you, right?” Tony murmured as he shoved half of his face into a graffitied wall.

“I’d bring Barnes back and wrap him in a nice red, white, and blue bow if it made you happy. I’d do it in a heartbeat if I could.” He smirked at the image of an angry, leather bound soldier wrapped in shiny wrapping paper with a giant bow on top of his greasy head.

“If I did, maybe you’d smile at me a bit more. Maybe you’d love me like you do Barnes. That’d be nice, wouldn’t it?” Tony shivered as a crisp wind chilled his bones. He wished Steve was here so he could wrap his warm arms around Tony’s body.

“I wouldn’t care how much love you could give me. Love me a little, or love me a lot, I’d take anything you could give as long as I could tell you how much I love you for the rest of our lives.”

As another cool wind nipped at Tony’s skin, it slowly dawned on him that none of the surrounding buildings looked familiar. The lights and buildings were all wrong. He was supposed to leave the bar and go left, right? Or was it right, then left. And how had going out the back entrance of the karaoke bar fucked up his sense of direction?

Tony was drunk and lost. Bad decision number three.

He spotted a man further down the alley and tried to wave him down.

“Hey! You over there!” Tony waved, stuffing his phone in a pocket. “I think I walked past my hotel. Do you know the direction of the Hotel Resol?”

The man didn’t say anything. He just slowly blinked his glowing red eyes at Tony in confusion.

“Oh right, I forgot. You might not speak English,” Tony recalled in his drunken haze. “Excuse me,” he tried again. “¿Dónde está el baño?”

The man muttered something that sounded like the beginning of a sentence.

“ _I_ what?” repeated Tony, cupping his ear as the man slowly stumbled in Tony’s direction.

“< _Aishiteru._ >”

“That doesn’t make any sense at all,” mumbled Tony.

The man pulled out something metal from behind his back and began dragging it across the ground.

“< _Aishiteru._ >”

He grabbed the hilt of the sword with both hands.

“< _Aishiteru!_ >” he yelled, running full force straight for Tony.

“Holy shit!” Tony stumbled back, barely able to dodge the signing blade.

“< _Aishiteru!_ >” The man yelled. He recklessly swung at Tony as if his arms were made out of noodles. “< _Aishiteru. Aishuteru! ASHITERU!_ >”

“What do you want?” demanded Tony as the man backed him up into a dark alley. “Speak English! You want my wallet? I’ll give you my wallet.”

The man just laughed, manic grin warping into something from Tony’s nightmares. Without warning, the man thrust the sword deep into the center of Tony’s chest, smack dab in the middle of the scar left by the arc reactor.

Tony screamed, hand flying down to the scar tissue.

“What I want,” the man said in perfect English between fits of uncontrollable giggling, “What I want is your love.”

Suddenly, he pulled the blade out of Tony’s chest and kicked him to the ground. Crazed laughter echoing off the alley walls, the man lashed out at Tony like there was no tomorrow. Each cut from the sword left a long, dark gash on Tony’s clothes. But it was nothing compared to the images that surged into Tony’s mind with each strike.

The man made a cut across Tony’s shoulder, and Tony saw himself pinning a familiar blond super soldier down to his bed with fervent kisses of “I love you.”

He cut Tony again, and Tony saw himself being fucked by Steve so hard and so fast, the cum was still glistening and wet at the start of the next round.

The man slashed Tony’s face, and Tony saw himself pinned against the wall of his workshop as Steve’s large hands held Tony up and worked his through a mindblowing orgasm. Into Steve’s sweaty skin, Tony whispered his devotion over and over again. “Love you so much,” he gasped as Steve’s dick pierced his ass. “Never want to let you go.”

The man made a cut down Tony’s arm, and Tony saw himself tying Steve up in dark leather and spanking those pert, white cheeks until they glowed cherry red.

He cut Tony again, and Tony saw Steve’s thick, dark red dick bobbing up and down as Steve, bound and bruised, hung helplessly in the air from an apparatus fit for a super soldier. Steve, drooling and wanton, begged Tony to fuck his greedy, slutty hole as Tony’s hand slowly worked him open. As Tony sucked a hickey into Steve’s perfect skin, he whispered, “As you wish, my beautiful, my only, my needy slut.”

The man cut Tony across the stomach, and Tony saw himself coming home to the tower, whistling.

Rolling the sleeves of his well-pressed suit up, Tony opened the locked door of his bedroom. There in the middle of white, silk sheets lay Steve: bound, beautiful, and shaking with need.

With a greedy smile, Tony removed the blindfold to reveal Steve’s dark, needy eyes blown wide with arousal. He removed the gag from Steve’s mouth, dripping wet with saliva.

“Were you good for me today, baby?” he asked, running his fingers through Steve’s sweaty brow.

“Please, let me go Tony,” Steve begged as he pulled against the heavy restraints holding his wrists next to his ankles. “I need to- I need to look for Bucky.”

Tony frowned. “I thought we said that you were over Barnes. Guess I need to remind you what happens when you disobey me.” Tony clicked a remote, and the vibrator in Steve’s ass began to hum.

Steve cried out as the beads in the head of the vibrator rolled back and forth over his prostrate. His cock strained against the cock ring, only allowing a drop of precome to drip off the top of the flushed head.

“Please,” Steve begged between hiccups. “Please let me go Tony.”

“No,” growled Tony, turning up the intensity of the vibrator. “Not until I fuck Barnes completely out of that pretty little head of yours.”

Tony flipped Steve over on his chest. He marveled at the perfectly wrecked ass being presented him, and then unbuckled his pants.

“Time to breed my bitch,” Tony said, licking his lips with glee. He removed the black vibrator from Steve’s ass with a naughty pop and threw it to the side. Steve groaned, pressing his face into the sheets.

Steve’s hole was still wet and puckering greedily for something. Without a word of warning, Tony shoved his unlubed dick deep into Steve’s ass.

Steve squeezed his eyes shut as he cried out, but his ass held on tight to Tony’s cock.

“I bet Barnes never fucked you like this,” Tony growled, thrusting his raw dick into Steve with all his strength.

Steve just whimpered into the sheets as tears streamed down his face.

Again and again, Tony pushed his dick deep into Steve’s ass, rubbing against Steve’s prostate whenever he damn well felt like it.

“Forget about Barnes,” Tony murmured into Steve’s ear as he pulled at the diamond-encrusted rings that pierced Steve’s nipples. Steve gasped in pain, and his ass clenched tightly around Tony’s dick. “You are mine, Steve. Don’t you dare forget that. The only thing that should exist in your world is you and me.”

* * *

 

Tony came out of his nightmare with a jolt as the man with the sword cut deep across his heart. Tony gasped as the pain and the weight of the visions sunk in.

He had wanted it. Despite denying his desires for months, Tony wanted every single thing the vision nightmare showed him. Shame, disgust, and fear at his desires clawed at his throat.

Thorough his panic, Tony realized that the sword was magic. It had to be. How else could he have seen those images if magic hadn’t gone into the deepest, darkest part of Tony’s mind and rip them out?

The man laughed. “You love him so much, it’s almost tragic,” he crooned in a nightmarish voice. “Let’s go back to America and show him exactly how much you love him.” He pulled back the sword for one last final strike.

“No!” Tony cried out. He grabbed the sword with his bare hand, holding it still mid swing.

The man stared, red eyes wide with shock as blood dripped down the palm of Tony’s hand and down his sleeve.

“I won’t do that to Steve,” Tony panted out through the pain. “I love him too much to let him see that side of me.”

He grabbed the sword with his other hand. Gritting through the pain as the blade cut his flesh, Tony flung the man away from the handle and into the wall.

The man hit the wall with a thud and slumped down, the red in his eyes fading and disappearing within seconds.

With heavy breath, Tony held tight onto the sword, waiting for the man to get back up and fight. He didn’t. As soon as Tony was sure he was in the clear, Tony let out a heavy breath and tried to drop the sword.

But something was wrong. His hands wouldn’t let go of the blade.

In stunned silence, Tony watched as the blade, of its own volition, buried itself back in Tony’s chest. He felt no pain as the sword withdrew into the scarred tissue.

Within seconds, Tony was on the ground, holding his head and crying in pain as hundreds of thousands of voices screamed in his ears. The voice droned on and on about platonic love, romantic love, sexual love, and stalker like obsession. It felt like every single thought and dark desire humanity could have was being pounded into Tony’s brain with a ten ton hammer.

Using the last of his energy, Tony cried out into the night for help, and then passed out.

* * *

 

Tony woke the next morning safe in his hotel room. He didn’t recall how he got back, but as he took count of his situation, Tony realized that there were more pressing issues for him to worry about.

First of all, the wounds he had sustained the night before were gone. Traces of blood speckled his white dress shirt, so it wasn’t a dream. But if it wasn’t a dream, who or what healed him?

Begrudgingly, he assumed the sword, which had not disappeared after last night’s excitement.

Leading him to a second concern, the sword.

Did Tony ever mention he hated magic? Tony fucking hated magic.

It wasn’t weird enough that Tony could summon the sword that cut him last night with just a thought, the sword treated his body like a sheath moving in and out of the arc reactor scar with ease. And it didn’t matter what direction he returned the sword, it always came out the way he wanted. Blade first or hilt first, from his hand or from his chest, didn’t seem to matter.

That was the fun part. The not fun part came in the form of the third issue.

The number three issue, and frankly the most disturbing, were the voices in his head. Somehow Saika (the sword called itself Saika. Tony wanted to call the sword “it”) was always present at the back of Tony’s mind.

The second Tony’s feet landed on American soil, Saika whispered a tempting plea of, “Please, cut him. Cut her. Cut them. Cut them all.” She claimed it was her version of asking people for kisses and hugs. Maybe a little more intimate than what humans were used to, but she claimed she was an affectionate sword.

Tony didn’t believe her. Tony was no King Arthur and Saika came from no lady in the lake. Besides, Tony could tell she was hiding something.

It wasn’t just the fact that she wanted to hurt people; it was the way she asked for it. Her words ranged from gentle, persuasive urges that Tony could mistakenly call his own, to incessant screaming that made it sound like there was an army rattling around in his head.

To drown out her nagging, Tony took to his workshop and buried himself in loud music, motor oil, and steel parts for days on end. That seemed to work until the voices in his head got so loud Tony blacked out.

When Tony came to, he found himself in Central Park at 4am. Saika was in his hand and a random kid lay bleeding all over the dew covered grass.

Tony turned the boy over and saw a long gash that went from his shoulder all the way down to the opposite hip.

Tony scrambled back, hand over his mouth. Had he finally done it? Had he finally killed someone with his own hands?

No, the boy was still breathing. It was shallow, but he was still breathing.

Tony let out a sigh of relief, but gasped in shock as the boy’s feeling of affection began pounding at Tony’s head.

Inside Tony’s head, the boy screamed about how he was deceived by the love of his life. How everything worthwhile in life was gone now that she didn’t love him. His heart ached for her. He wanted to be her everything despite the fact that she cheated on him with a guy out of her league. He loved her. He wanted her. He needed her to breath. If he couldn’t have her, he might as well be left for dead.

Unable to take the noise any longer, Tony ran away from the scene of the crime. Saika retreated back into Tony’s body as he ran to the refuge of the Stark Tower.

Once inside the safety of his home, Tony swore that no matter what, it wouldn’t happen again. Tony wouldn’t give in to Saika’s pleads to cut people, and no matter what Tony would find some way to control the magic sword.

* * *

 

The next time Tony was on the verge of blacking out under the pressure of the insistent, “Cut him. Cut her. Cut them,” he ordered Friday to put the lab on lockdown.

It didn’t work. He woke up the next morning to the same thing, covered in morning dew surrounded by freshly cut bodies in the middle of Central Park. Tony tried everything he could think of short of telling the world he was possessed by a blood thirsty sword, don’t go near him.

Tony tried locking himself in an Iron Man suit until morning. Didn’t work. He tried chaining himself up to a bedpost with cuffs strong enough to hold Captain America. Didn’t work. He tried throwing himself in jail and surrounding himself with cops. He found the cop’s uniforms slashed to ribbons on the floor of his cell the next morning.

There were only two things that seemed to suppress the madness and the constant urge to, “Cut him. Cut her. Cut them! Cut everyone!” One was going out into the dark of night and cutting people with his sword (much to his dislike and dismay, but he did try to stick to criminals and low lifes when he was in control). The second thing that kept him in control was thinking about Steve.

After the disastrous conference call in Japan and the fall out of Ultron, Steve was a sore topic for Tony to address. Tony was still upset that Steve took him for granted, and he was beginning to feel jealous about all the attention that Steve gave Barnes over him. He tried to stay angry at Steve, but good god, just thinking about Steve made the noise and madness clawing away at his brain lessen for a few beautiful minutes.

Imagining Steve sitting in Tony’s workshop, dragging the charcoal over paper as his muscles flexed under a tight, white shirt, made the aching pain in his head recede for a few minutes. Mouthing never to be said prayers of “I love you,” and “Don’t leave me for Barnes,” as the Steve in his head whispered hymns of, “No, I never will,” made the sickening feeling in Tony’s stomach vanish without a trace. Imagining a large, warm chest against Tony’s back, and a calloused hand around Tony’s dick as Steve wrung him dry gave Tony a few hours of blessed silence before the discord of voices begging to be loved started up again.

Sure, sometimes the nightmarish possessiveness slipped into Tony’s daydreams, but that was all the Saika’s doing, not him. Tony could deal with that. And no, it wasn’t ideal, Tony pining for a man that would never return his affections as he chases after another man with Tony’s help, but Tony could deal with it.

After all, Steve spent most of his days away from the tower searching for his precious Bucky. He’d never find out about this, and Tony saw no reason to tell him.

* * *

 

At least, that’s what he thought. The night Steve came back from his latest excursion and knocked on Tony’s door, Tony experience the worst pain of his life.

“Sir, Captain Rogers has requested entrance,” announced Friday.

“I want him,” Saika whispered. She sent Tony a picture of Steve as his flesh cut into ribbons, leaving only tattered strips of clothes in its wake. “I want him to father our children. You want him by your side as you share you love with all of humanity.”

Tony’s hand began reaching for the sword as the hilt withdrew from his chest. “No!” Tony refused, pushing down on the urge. “I won’t do it. I won’t hurt Steve.”

“Cut him,” the din of voices insisted. “Cut him. Love him. You know you want to.”

“No!”

The madness in his head swelled and pushed back.

Tony held his head between his knees as Saika shoved Tony’s possessive, dark desires into Tony’s head.

Tony screamed, “That’s not me. That’s not true!” over and over again until he thought his voice would break.

Then, slowly the noise vanished, leaving only a pulsing urge in the back of Tony’s mind. The sword sheathed itself in Tony’s chest.

“Friday,” Tony gasped between tears. “Tell him I’m busy. I won’t be available any time soon.”

“Understood sir.”

Tony held himself close as his body thrummed with unnatural energy.

He had to cut someone. Not Steve, never Steve, but someone, anyone. Just a simple slash right across their back. That would satisfy the urge. If he didn’t, Tony didn’t want to begin to imagine what could happen if he didn’t.

* * *

 

Tony coughed through the smoke as it rolled through the ballroom of the benefit. Saika was already at his side. He heard a muffled gunshot, and saw the heavyset senator crumple to the floor.

Tony raced over to the man. Tony gently shook him as blood seeped through his clothes and across his chest. “Sir? Are you okay sir?”

Tony received no response.

“Dammit,” Tony cursed as he watched the light drain out of the man’s eyes.

“I can help him,” purred the sword. “Let me cut him, just a little. He will become my child and will gain the strength necessary to live.”

“Promise?” asked Tony, already ripping the buttons off the dying man’s shirt to expose flesh.

“I promise.”

Saika could be lying, but Tony felt no sense deception. Not like he had much of a choice if he wanted to save the dying man. So, trusting the sword, Tony took a step back and made a shallow cut across the chest.

The man twitched. His eyes began to glow red like Tony’s, but the bleeding slowed to a stop and his breathing evened out.

With a sigh of relief, Tony sank back. “Thank god,” he breathed, releasing the stress from his shoulders. Tony felt the press of the man’s dull mind, but it was easy to ignore.

“There are others,” reminded the sword. “You must cut them too before it is too late.”

Tony nodded, pushing himself up with ease. Saika was right. Who know how many people were on the verge of death thanks to the attack. As the only Avenger at the scene, it was Tony’s duty to do save them before it was too late. It was Tony’s duty to protect humanity and all her children.

Tony felt Saika’s power press into him, allowing him to dash across the room with accelerated speed. He couldn’t see every cut he made due to the momentary madness that came with Saika’s power. But it didn’t matter. If he was able to save these people before it was too late, the exchange of madness for power was worth it.

As the madness retreated back from a scream to an incessant murmur, Tony made the final, shallow cut into the last unconscious person. Out of the corner of his eye, Tony saw a shadow dart across the rooftops not two buildings over.

Tony squinted his eyes, trying to get a better look.

A greasy head of brown hair glistened in the moonlight as it ran away from the scene of the crime. Tony didn’t need to think about who it could be. He knew exactly who the man was without even looking at his face.

The former Winter Soldier, James Buchanan Barnes.

Tony clenched his teeth. Barnes was here. He was within Tony’s grasp, and Steve was nowhere to be seen.

Just seeing him there, rifle at his side, wind whipping the brown hair around Bucky’s tired face; it made Tony’s blood boil.

Tony knew exactly how much Steve had sacrificed to find Barnes. The week long trips scouring the globe, the long, late, sleepless nights filled with guilt, the ground shaking fights as stress got the best of Steve and sent him storming out of the conference room in a flurry of curse words, all that just for Bucky to appear like a tantalizing carrot for Tony to bite, while Steve brooded away in front of the TV.

Ungrateful bastard.

Heavy emotions rolled around in Tony’s gut, as he gripped the sword. He’d show Barnes. He’d show Bucky exactly just how much Steve cared for him, and how little he cared for Tony despite Tony giving him the world.

He’d drag Bucky back to the tower, kicking and screaming if he had to, just to see the look on Steve’s face when he came through the door.

Steve would smile, obviously, but it would be one of those rare full smiles that Tony hadn’t seen in ages. He’d scoop Bucky close, tears streaming down his face, as he assured his long lost friend that everything was going to be okay.

Then, maybe, through his joy, Steve would look at Tony with an affection Tony had craved since the fall of Ultron.

Steve would reach out, take Tony’s hand, smile tears fell down his face, and thank him with all his heart for bring his friend back.

If he could have Steve look at him like that once more, Tony would sacrifice everything in a heartbeat.

Tony prepared himself for the wave of madness, fixed his eyes on Barnes, and ran.

* * *

 

After running after Bucky for what felt like hours, Tony passed out due to blood loss and mental exhaustion from Saika’s madness.

Power in exchange for a few minutes consumed by madness, worth every second.

Tony hovered in that sweet spot between dreamless sleep and lucid awareness. He felt the uncomfortable hospital cot underneath his body, but his conscious remained in the dark, floating in the air.

A tiny voice called to him through the darkness.

“The Winder Soldier is here,” said a weak voice. “He’s going to kill me.”

Protective rage began to boil in Tony’s stomach. Who did Barnes think he was, coming in out of nowhere and stealing one of Tony’s children right from under his nose.

In his sleep, Tony rolled over on his side so he could confront Barnes, but a strong, warm hand held him back.

“Protect your sister,” Tony commanded the voices in the void. “Cut him before he hurts anyone else.”

With an invisible nod, chatter faded into the background. However, there was a restlessness that hadn’t died down.

Without words, his daughters conveyed that something had happened in the waking world. Something had happened to put their mother in danger.

Tony needed to get out and fast.

Tony opened his eyes to a small, standard white hospital room. A heart monitor to his side alerted Natasha to Tony’s panicked state.

“Tony?” she said, placing a gentle hand on his arm. “Are you okay?”

“Cut her,” the voices whispered. “Cut her.”

“I need to go,” rasped Tony.

Natasha gave Tony’s arm an affectionate squeeze. “You need to rest.”

“No, you don’t understand, I really need to go.” With a gentle tug, he pulled the iv out of his arm and swung his feet off the bed.

“Tony, get back in bed.”

Tony padded over to a basket where his clothes from the night before lay folded.  He shook out his shirt to reveal military precise fold lines. Steve’s work. “As much as I’d like to explain, I really need to go now,” he said, stuffing his arms into the sleeves.

Natasha frowned and stomped over to Tony. “Get back into bed this instant or I’m calling Steve!”

Tony lashed out at her. “No!” he yelled, throwing her hand off his arm.

She stumbled back, a stunned look on her face. Then, her eyes slowly changed from their beautiful piercing green, to a sickening blood red. Tony felt her mind slowly unfurl into his. The soft yet guarded tendrils of her affection fell open under his fingertips.

He looked down and saw Saika poking out of his arm with a drop of Natasha’s blood rolling down the blade and onto his skin.

“Oh god,” he gasped as the blade retreated back into his body. Tony reached toward his friend to apologize. “Natasha, I-”

A commotion came from outside his room. A cloud of red eyed shadows flew by the window in a whirlwind of noise. Tony’s heart stopped. The danger wasn’t gone yet.

Steeling his heat, Tony reached for his pants and continued to dress himself.

“Cover me,” he ordered his newest daughter. “Capture Barnes, and make sure he never hurts anybody ever again.”

“Yes, mother.”


	6. Just one choice

“So,” asked Clint, spinning around in the front seat of the quinjet. “What’s the damage?”

“We lost Tony, Natasha, and Agent Hill,” reported Sam as the back hatch closed behind them. “Oh, and SHIELD is compromised, again.”

Clint groaned. “You know, if SHIELD keeps getting taken over by evil organizations, I’m either going to have to look for a better job, or as for better insurance.”

“It’s not an evil organization. It’s- I don’t know what it is,” groused Steve, ripping his gloves off his hands.

Sam cocked an eyebrow. “You explained it to me on the flight over. You said it was a sword.”

“I said it was Saika,” corrected Steve.

“Who you said is a sword.”

“How does that happen?” asked Clint

“I don’t know,” snapped Steve, tapping his foot on the metal floor. “I don’t have all the answers.”

“Steve, relax,” said Sam, stepping in between Steve and Clint. “No one is saying you have to have all the answers.”

“Then stop looking at me like I do!” yelled Steve, stomping over the far corner of the plane.

Sam and Clint looked at each other, a silent conversation passing between the two. With a nod, Clint took his place back at the front of the plane and Sam took a seat next to Steve.

“Steve,” his voice was gentle. “What happened in there?”

Steve snorted. “What didn’t?”

“You know piss and vinegar won’t solve anything.” Steve crossed his arms and refused to answer. With a sigh, Sam tried again. “Why don’t you start at the beginning? You told me the important parts, now give me the details.”

Steve huffed. Where should he start? Should he start by saying Tony flat out lied to his face? Should he start by confirming how the red eyes spread, and at the cost of losing Maria? Should he start by telling Sam how both Tony and Natasha played them for fools? Should he start by explaining how Tony’s stupidity cost him the case?

He could, but he didn’t. It didn’t feel right. Instead,

“I found out that Tony is in love with me.”

“That’s good,” encouraged Sam, unfazed at the sudden confession of love.

“And I found out he’s the Slasher.”

“Okay,” said Sam after a pregnant pause. “Not exactly the optimal beginning of a budding romance, but it’s something.”

“He said he did it for me,” Steve said, throwing his gloves at the far wall of the hull. “How could he think hurting innocent people and brainwashing them into a mob of mindless zombies would make me happy? That is the exact opposite of what would make me happy.”

“Steve, you need to calm down,” urged Sam. “I’m sure there’s a reasonable, logical explanation for this.”

“Like what?” demanded Steve. He stood up and began to pace the short length of the aircraft. “What sort of twisted logic could possibly explain all this?”

“What about a cursed sword?” asked Clint.

Steve and Sam turned their attention to Clint as he spun back and forth in the chair. “Excuse me?”

Clint turned a tablet around. On the screen, Steve saw an old painting of a Japanese katana that looked strikingly similar to the one Tony wielded.

“This is Saika,” explained Clint. “The legend goes like this:

> _“Long ago, in feudal Japan, there was a samurai that loved humanity. He loved it when they laughed, he was sad when they cried, he loved the art and music they created, and he loved how they came together in times of need. So, when the shogun declared war, the samurai commissioned an enchanted sword that would make him strong enough to protect his people._
> 
> _“The blacksmith made the samurai a beautiful sword and name it Saika._
> 
> _“Over the years, Saika grew to love her master. And like her master, her love grew big enough that she fell in love with all of humanity. Like many couples deeply in love, Saka desired a physical representation of her affection, children. So whenever he master cut down an enemy, she place a part of her conscious in that body, in essence, giving birth to a child who would carry out Saika’s will._
> 
> _“Soon, the weight of Saika’s parasitic love and the weight of her children became too strong. Saika’s thoughts and the thoughts of her children as they declared their love for the samurai drove him mad. Eventually he killed himself, unable to bear the burden of her love. His apprentice took up the sword, and the cycle of madness continued.”_

Clint turned off the tablet with a solemn click as Steve tried to process the information. So Saika had never been a girl. She had always been a sword. A cursed sword. A sword hell bent on making the world her’s. Saika was the problem just like Bucky had said it was.

“So I guess the moral of the story is, don’t pick up cursed swords.”

“Clint!” chastised Sam.

“I’m serious! However Stark managed to get his hands on a cursed sword, it was a dumb thing to do.”

“Doesn’t matter how he got it,” Steve muttered under his breath. Now that he knew the entire story, he felt his resolve strengthened. “What matters is how we finish it.”

“And how do you suggest we do that?” asked Clint.

Sam shrugged. “Break the curse?”

“Yeah, that’s going to work real well,” snorted Clint. “The legends says the sword acts like a parasite. The only way to get rid of the curse is to kill the host.””

Sam whistled. “That’s our only option?”

Clint shrugged. “The only option on record that quieted the zombie-like army she creates.”

“We take Saika down,” said Steve, picking his gloves up off the ground. “If we cut off the head, the rest should fall.”

“How?” asked Clint. “She’s a sword. What do you suggest we do? Arrest a sword? Beat a metal object into submission? Not exactly how I expected to spend my Thursday.”

“Not to mention that it doesn’t take into account what will happen to Tony,” Sam added.

The realization hit them like a train. If their present was a parallel to the legend, Tony was the samurai in the story. And in the story, the samurai had to die to end Saika’s rein. That meant, Tony would-

“What do you think could happen?” asked Sam.

Clint sighed, running a hand through his short hair. “Best case scenario, we make Tony drop the sword and all this crazy goes back to normal. No need to break any curse. No need to kill any people.”

“From the story you shared, it doesn’t sound likely.”

“We won’t know unless we try,” said Clint.

“We’ll figure it out as we go. We’re wasting time here,” Steve said, determination setting his face into a scowl. He pushed his way into the cockpit and hit the switch to activate the AI. “Friday, can you put Tony’s location up on the screen?”

The screen sparked to life. Small windows of information popped up as Friday sorted through the incoming data. “Mister Stark is not in possession of any equipment that would tell me his location. It will take a few minutes, but I can use the satellites to provide you that information.”

Steve nodded in acknowledgment. “Do it.”

“I’m sorry,” said Clint, holding up a hand as if he was about to ask a question. “Did I hear correctly that you’re going in with no plan of attack?”

“I do have a plan,” said Steve. His eyes tracked the data from Friday as it flew across the screen. “We separate Tony from Saika, take her down, and end this war before it’s begun.”

“But not details about the how.” Clint let out a frustrated sigh and pushed Steve out of the driver’s seat. “In that case, me and the quinjet will just pop a squat on the next building and stay put while you run off and do your hero thing. Bye guys. Have fun storming the castle.”

“You’re not coming?” asked Sam.

Steve frowned. “You know this affects you too, right?”

“Oh, I know,” said Clint as he spun around in his seat. “Which is exactly why I’m not putting up with the same bullshit again.

Steve frowned. “This isn’t like Ultron.”

Clint snorted. “No, but it might as well be with how you two are acting.”

“Clint!”

“No,” snapped Clint at Sam. “You stay out of this fly boy.”

Steve pushed his shoulders back and rose to his full height. “You got a problem, say it.”

“Oh, I’ve got a problem alright,” glowered Clint, pushing himself out of the driver’s seat. “I’ve got a problem with you ‘master tactician’ going into a volatile situation where the only plan of attack is to ‘wing it.’ I don’t know how they did it in the trenches, but that’s not how we do it in the 21st century.”

“You got a better idea?” challenged Steve.

“Yeah,” Clint threw back. “Figure out how Tony plays into all this instead of throwing him under the bus. Because as far as I can tell Tony is the one thing that can bring this entire operation to the ground, _provided_ we plays our cards right.”

“What’s there to think about?” raged Steve. “Saika’s the problem. Saika is the person we need to think about stopping. Tony, he’s a despicable excuse of a human being for following her. He hurt all those innocent people of his free will.”

“So, what?” challenged Clint. “You plan on killing him if things don’t turn out in your favor?”

Steve glared down at Clint with his piercing blue eyes. “You and I both know that Tony would be more than willing to be the martyr in this situation.”

“And you’re just going to go through with this without Tony’s express consent just because _you_ think he might be on board with this ludicrous idea? You have got to be kidding me,” gawked Clint. “Did you conveniently forget the ‘cursed sword’ bit?”

“No, but-”

“And who here had been mind fucked by magic?” Clint sarcastically raised his hand. “Oh, look at that. Just me.”

Steve glared at the archer. “This isn’t funny Clint.”

“You’re damn right it isn’t funny!” he yelled. “How hard do you think it is to resist magic? Any guesses? No guesses? Of course not! You have no experience with that level of mind fucking. Here, why don’t I spell it out for you in words your tiny brain will understand; it’s really, fucking hard. Because of Loki, because of that stupid, fucking mind gem, I hurt a bunch of people too. But you didn’t hear Nat bitching about how I should be held accountable for my actions.”

“That’s different.”

“How?” demanded Clint.

“Loki was the puppet master. Tony was in control.”

“Again, you’re in no position to talk,” accused Clint. “You don’t know what it’s like in there and you have no idea what control actually looks like.”

“He could have done something.”

“Please, enlighten me,” challenged Clint. “Because all I’m hearing right now is excuses about why it’s okay to off your best friend.”

“I don’t want to do that, but what else can I do?” Steve asked. “Tony brought it upon himself. He should have done something. He should have reached a little further. Then, maybe I could have helped him.”

Clint scoffed. “Have you seen yourself as of late? You haven’t been the most approachable person.”

“He should have tried harder!” Steve yelled. He began pacing around the seats like a wild animal. “I was right there. I was right fucking there and he slipped from my fingers!”

Steve kept seeing those eyes. Those huge fucking eyes filled with sadness and pain as the gentle Tony Steve knew slipped out of his grasp.

“It’s like watching Bucky fall all over again,” Steve said, running both hands through his hair in an effort to calm his nerves. It didn’t work. “Doing something stupid to protect me, and then end up at the short end of the stick.

‘I should have done something!’

“I shouldn’t have spent so much time looking for Bucky. I should have paid more attention to Tony,” chanted Steve. “I should have been more attentive. I shouldn’t have been so fixated on the past that I forgot about what was right in front of me. I should have- I should have-” Steve’s words got caught in his throat, leaving him silent and sputtering like a fish with no air.

Unable to voice his thoughts and they strangled his throat, Steve collapsed to the ground. “I failed him,” Steve said, his voice shaky and timid. “I try to save one person and I end up failing them all. Bucky, Natasha, Maria, Tony. If I hadn’t been so set on finding Bucky none of this would have happened.”

“You couldn’t have known,” assured Clint, squatting down next to him. “None of us did.”

“You don’t understand,” Steve said, desperate to be understood. “The way Tony looked at me; it was the same way Bucky used to look at me. As if I was the center of his world. Like I was worth sacrificing everything for. I just- I keep seeing his eyes. They looked so much like Bucky’s and I- I just can’t. I can’t live with the guilt anymore”

After all, he was the one that created the monsters that haunted his nightmares. Bucky and the Winter Soldier, Tony and Saika, all of it was his fault.

Steve chanted to himself over and over as he sank down, deeper into his own regret, “I should have done something. I should have done more. I’m Captain America. I’m supposed to defeat the monster and save the city. I’m supposed to do better than anyone else.”

“No, you’re not,” Clint said, his voice gentle and assuring. “You’re Steve Rogers, just a normal guy from Brooklyn. And normal guys like us make mistakes. Best thing we can do is pick ourselves up by our bootstraps and try to fix what we broke. That is your generation’s thing, right?”

Steve blinked the tears out of his eyes as he processed the information. “I- I guess,” stuttered Steve. “I don’t know. I don’t even know where to start. Bucky told me I had to stop the Slasher, and I should. But knowing that it’s Tony, I just- I don’t know if I can. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Steve wanted to help Bucky. He wanted to stop the Slasher. That was good. But the Slasher was Tony. And if he wanted to stop the Slasher, he had to stop Tony. And that ended with killing Tony. Steve didn’t want that, but what other choice did he have?

“Start where Nat had me start,” offered Clint. “Just save one person. Forget about guilt and making amends for what you’ve done in the past. Focus on saving that one person that needs your help more than anybody else. It can be as simple and as small as saving a cat from a burning building, but just save someone.”

Just one? That was impossible. There was a whole list of people Steve could save had to save. He had save Bucky. Bucky had suffered long enough at the hands of Hydra. Freeing him from the Winter Soldier was the least Steve could do. Knowing he was close by, how could Steve not go after his best friend? Steve could have Friday track him down. Steve could take him far away from this mess. He could finally make up for all those years he hadn’t been able to come after Bucky. And maybe, he would finally not feel guilty anymore.

But the Winter Soldier told Steve that he didn’t need saving.

And then there was Natasha and Agent Hill. It wouldn’t be easy to find them in the sea of red eyes, but Steve knew it was possible. He could find them, spirit them away, and then find a way to lift the curse on his own time.

He could save Clint and Sam. They had no idea what they were dealing with. They hadn’t seen what Tony was capable of. Steve could take the controls and fly them far, far away. He’d take them to some deserted island where the curse wouldn’t be able to reach.

But as he considered the possibilities, Steve realized that there was only one person that he wanted more than anyone else. As the name stood on the tip of his tongue, the confliction of emotions tore at Steve’s heart. He cared about this person, more than words could describe. He wanted to bring them home, wrap them in a tight blanket, and protect them from harm against the rest of the world. He wanted to be with them like they were before. He wanted to hear them laugh again. He wanted to go back and forth to the time of petty banter and suggestive nudges.

But Steve knew this man had done some horrible things. If Steve saved him, would he get the wrong message? Would he think that Steve approved of all the bad things that he’d done? This man loved Steve with all his heart, but did Steve love him back? Before this whole incident, Steve might have said yes, he loved this man. He loved how he made Steve feel when he was feeling apathetic or depressed. He loved how he made Steve question the world with a single word. He loved the man’s smile, his fingers, his laugh, every single part of him. Could Steve love him now knowing everything that man had done?

Steve wasn’t too sure anymore.

And if saving this man meant dealing with these tumultuous feelings head on, Steve wasn’t quite sure how he could manage it.

However, as he looked into Clint’s piercing brown eyes, Steve remembered the once sickly blue eyes that stared blankly back at him many years ago. Soulless blue eyes that stared into the security camera as the archer took out agent after agent. Steve had forgiven Clint for his actions all those years ago. The question was; could he muster that forgiveness now after the love of his life had cut him so deeply.

“Steve,” Clint asked again. “Who’s the one person that you want to save more than anyone else?”

Steve buried his face further down into his arms, ashamed at his answer and at his selfishness. “Tony,” mumbled under his breath. “I want to save Tony.”

As much as he cared for Bucky, Maria, and Natasha, they would have to wait. He had to trust they were strong enough on their own to hang on a little longer. It felt like betrayal, choosing Tony over them. They were all important people in his life, and he care for them dearly. But Tony needed him more. And it felt selfish of him, but he wanted Tony back more than anything in the world. Maybe, after all this was over, he hoped he could find some way to make it up to them.

“So no killing him, even though he’s done some bad stuff?”

“No, no, you’re right,” Steve agreed with a shaky breath, gathering his wits about him. “No killing.”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t give him a good tongue lashing later,” Clint said with a suggestive nudge.

Up in the front of the plane, Sam choked. “Clint! I do not need that visual aid.”

“But we’re still down a plan of attack,” Steve realized. “If we aren’t going to kill the host like they did in the legend, what are we going to do?”

“Whatever we do, we better figure it out fast,” said Sam.

Clint cocked his head to the side. “Why?”

Sam took his hands off the steering wheel. He pointed to the light on the dashboard that read

‘ _Manual_.’ “Look ma. No hands.”

“How is that possible?” asked Clint as he and Steve made their way back up to the front.

Steve looked at the screen that Friday had been displaying coordinates. It was now glowing red and had a single phrase decorating every line of the screen. “Mother wants to see you,” said Friday.

A breath caught in Steve’s throat.

Clint groaned. “Computer in the quinjet. Friday is a computer. Somehow, Tony got Friday to hack the system and take it over. Hello evil, sentient vehicles.”

Sam snorted. “Sounds like something out of a bad Stephen King movie.”

“Mother wants to see you,” Friday repeated.

Steve tried to focus on his breathing. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about how far Tony had gone.

Clint placed a hand on Steve’s stiff shoulder. “You okay Steve?”

Steve took a deep breath. He looked out the window and down at the New York streets. Even from here, he could see unusually shaped red clumps forming along the streets. The red fever was spreading, and Tony was at its mercy. He let out a heavy sigh. “Yeah,” he said in a voice that was clearly not okay. “Just thought we’d have more time figuring things out.”

“Hey Friday,” Clint tapped the computer screen. “Any idea what our ETA is?”

“Mother wants to see you.”

“Yeah,” grumbled Clint as he slumped back into a seat. “That’s what I thought.”


	7. Just save someone

Friday had so graciously taken the trio to the new Avenger’s facility, landing them smack dab in the middle of the road leading up to the entrance. Within seconds, the craft was bathed in a glow of red light as an army of zombie-like civilians crowded around it like moths to a flame

“They’re just staring at us,” said Sam, eyes darting around the mass of people that had gathered around the craft. “Zombie logics says they should be banging on the windows, trying to get in. Why aren’t they attacking us?”

“Maybe it’s a trap?” Steve offered.

“You don’t say?” Clint said, sarcasm heavy in his voice.

Steve tried not to give Clint a strong jab in the side. “You have something you would like to share with the class Hawkeye?”

Clint rolled his eyes. “As your resident ex-mind control survivor, I will tell you with certainty that this is indeed a trap. Look at them, just staring at us. They’re relaying the message that someone has invaded their space.

Sam’s suspicious eyes swept over the crowd. “So if they recognize us, why aren’t they, you know, mobbing us?”

“Tony must have told them to hold back,” guessed Steve. Sure enough, the sea of red eyes moved to reveal a clear path. At the end of the path stood Maria.

“Guess who just rolled out the red carpet for us,” Clint said, flicking the button to lower the ramp.

“Wait, you’re actually going out there?”

Clint shrugged. “It’s either that or wait until they break in. And that option involves a lot more guns, blood, and a lot less chance of survival.”

Sam gave Steve an incredulous look.

Steve wasn’t too happy with their options either, but it wasn’t as if they had much of a choice. “Rather not tempt fate,” he said. And honestly, he was more worried about Tony’s safety that fighting through an army of armed and dangerous civilians. “Besides, you’re the one that always gets upset when the movies kill off the black guy first. Stay in here, that might be your fate.”

“ _I_ get upset because we have better ‘don’t fuck with supernatural shit’ senses than you white boys do and Hollywood fails to put that in their movies,” grumbled Sam as they disembarked.

The trio walked off the plane and down the path, wary of any movement from the waiting onlookers. As they approached the end of the path, Maria spoke.

“Mother wants to see you.”

“So I heard,” said Steve, trying to keep face blank of emotion.

Steve took a few steps forward, but Maria placed a hand in the center of his chest. “Not them,” she motioned to Sam and Clint. “Just you.”

“And if I refuse?”

Maria frowned. Behind him, Steve heard a number of metal objects being unsheathed.

“Cap.”

Steve turned around. Natasha had snuck up behind Clint and Sam, and had placed a very sharp knife tip at the base of their Adam’s apple. Behind her, an army of red-eyed civilians stood poised and at the ready to attack at a moment’s notice.

“Mother wants to see you,” repeated Maria.

Steve tightened his grip on his shield. He took a breath, reminding himself that he was in enemy territory and trying to punch his way out of the situation wouldn’t do any good. “Fine,” he said, resisting the urge to growl. He refused to give creature any more emotional ammo. “Let’s get this over with.”

Maria gave Sam and Clint one last glare before leading Steve up the stairs of the facility.

* * *

 

They went up a few floors to find Tony standing in front of a wall of windows that looked out over the forest beyond. Hundreds of red lights flickered in and out of the far off tree line like fireflies in late summer. Hypnotized people, all with glowing red eyes, ambled out of the forest one by one as they made their approach to the fortress.

Moonlight shone down through the glass like a spotlight, giving Tony a long, hypnotizing shadow on the reflective floor. The metal sword at Tony’s side shimmered in the dim light, reminding Steve what he was fighting for and against.

Maria stopped a few feet away from Tony. Without a word, she turned on her heels and left Steve and Tony alone in the cold, glass paned room.

Tony turned around, and it felt like a breath of fresh air filed Steve’s lungs. Tony was okay.

A smile lit up his face. “Steve!”

Relief ran out of him in a flash. A shiver ran down Steve’s spine. Despite it being Tony’s face, something in Steve knew that it wasn’t Tony’s smile. Something else was smiling at him. Something dark, and possessive was undressing him with Tony’s eyes.

Tony ran toward Steve, arms outstretched. “Steve! Steve! Steve! Steve! Steve!” Tony wrapped his arms around Steve, pulling him into a tight hug. “I knew you would come back to me. I just knew it.”

A chill ran through Steve’s body. This wasn’t right. Tony was warm, soft, and smelled like cold coffee. The embrace felt like cold slime against his body. It disgusted him. “Get off me!” Steve yelled, startled by the sudden show of affection. He threw Tony’s arms off his body and pushed him away.

“Steve?” The large wounded look on Tony’s face made him looked like a kicked puppy. “What’s wrong Steve? Didn’t you come back to love me?”

“No.” His answer came out as a panicked sputter. Taking a breath, Steve tried to pull himself together. “I came back because you have to be stopped.”

“Me?” asked Tony, eyes wide with innocence. “What have I done wrong?”

“You’re hurting people.”

“No, I’m not,” Tony insisted. “I’m saving them.”

“By cutting them?” Steve asked bewildered by the answer. “By turning them into mindless zombies?”

“By sharing my love with them,” Tony replied. “Don’t you see? Don’t you understand? I love them Steve. I love people the same way I love you.”

“That’s not you,” Steve said. “That’s the sword talking.”

“Not it’s not,” insisted Tony. “I love humanity. Why do you think I created Ultron?”

The question caught Steve off guard. “Because you’re a control freak?”

Tony shook his head, a pitying smile on his face. “Because I want to protect the things that I love. I’ve spent decades destroying thing, separating families, and hurting innocent people. Ultron was the least I could do to help make things right in the world. Ultron was supposed to protect us, Steve. Not break us apart.”

“That was your own fault.”

“And don’t it make you happy to remind me of that every chance you get,” sneered Tony bitterly.

“Do you know how many times I beat myself over the head for inventing that stupid program?” Tony asked, beginning to circle around Steve. “Do you know how the guilt motivates me to make stupid choices in hopes that it doesn’t happen again? Do you know about the nightmares I have about losing you? About losing the entire planet to some godlike enemy because I didn’t do enough?

“No, because you’re too blind to look beyond Bucky fucking Barnes to see that the people who really care about you are right in front of your eyes. Your mind is too occupied thinking about the next thing you can sacrifice just so you can have another second with him. You’re too busy wrapped in your own head to see me trying to make the world a better place. You don’t see the hours I spend in my workshop making sure people like you don’t get killed in the line of fire. You don’t see how I literally give you everything I have just so you will look at me!

“But no matter what I do, you only see me as a monster. I do everything in my power to try to make up for my mistakes, and all you see the blood on my hands from what I have done.” Tony let out a depressed sigh. “I thought you were different Steve. I thought you were different from all the journalists that paint me as nothing more than an entitled blue blood just trying to get a bit of good karma before I pass into the afterlife.

“You can’t even look at me anymore, can you?” Tony scoffed. “The only good I am to you, is good as dead.”

The metal in the sword clinked as Tony shifted it in his hands. “But don’t worry Steve. After all is said and done, I still love you. I still love humanity. Look at how many people I’ve shared my love with.”

“This isn’t right Tony,” insisted Steve, trying to drown out the lies as they attempted to take root in as truth his brain “This isn’t you.”

“What the hell do you know about me?” Tony snarled. “These people, my children, they know me. They know every word I said is true. They know how much I love them. They know how much we love humanity. They know how much I love you Steve, and they’re just dying to meet you.”

“Come here,” Tony purred, white teeth glinting like the sharp sword in his hand. “Let me carve my love into you.”

Steve’s heart rate began to quicken, but he forced himself to stay calm and face the monster head on. “Don’t worry Tony,” he said, squaring his feet, ready for combat. “I’ll save you.”

“Save me?” Tony laughed. “Save me the same what you tried to save Barnes? You failed to save your past, and now you're grasping at fraying threads to make amends. When will you learn Steve, try to take too many cookies out of the cookie jar, your hand will get stuck.”

“Shut up you monster! Stop spewing nonsense.”

“Am I really?” Tony asked with a carefree air. “Then I guess that fact that I have eyes on your missing assassin right now means absolutely nothing to you.”

Steve’s heart stopped. Tony could see Bucky? Tony knew where Bucky was?

Hope swelled in his chest. Tony knew where Bucky was! If he could just wrestle the information out of Tony, Steve could finally bring his best friend home. He would finally be able to make amends.

But as Steve considered how to get the information out of Tony, he looked into those red eyes and realized his hope was displaced.

“You’re lying,” he growled. There was no way the enemy would be interested in helping him.

“Lying or not, do you really want to take that risk?” asked Tony with a cheerful twirl, “End me now, and you’ll be right back where you started, scouring for bread crumbs as to where he’ll head next. But, if you go after him, I’ll make sure you lose everything. You’ll never have an opportunity like this and for the rest of your life; I’ll be the one chasing you.”

Every instinct in Steve’s body told him to attack the man while his guard was down, but a small ray of hope held him back. He tried to shake it. Now was the time to attack. Tony was acting cocky and confident. Steve could take advantage of that and end this all now before things got worse.

But what about Bucky? Tony could be luring Steve into a trap. But what if he wasn’t? Everything Tony had said up to that point felt like it was true. He had neglected the team in favor for his search for Bucky. He had taken advantage of Tony’s kindness and willingness to accommodate Steve’s every need.

If what Tony said was true, that changed everything. Tony and Bucky were both within his grasp and he wanted to bring both of them home. He had to save Tony, but he wanted to go after Bucky. If he went after one, he would lose the other for good.

As his mind ran in circle about which was the better option, Clint’s words rang in his ears.

“Just save one.”

Tony laughed. “Can’t decide? Let me make it easier.”

Tony leveled his sword and charged at Steve. Reflexes kicking in, Steve raised his shield to block the attack. As the two metal weapons collided, Steve felt the unnatural strength from Tony’s attack rattle his bones.

“For the record, I really hate sharing my things,” Tony sneered.

Steve threw him off, but that didn’t keep Tony down for long. Within seconds, Tony was back up, laughing like a maniac.

“I want to mark you,” he growled, charging forward for another attack. “Carve my name into your skin, chain you down so no one else can have you.” He swung the sword down, barely missing Steve as the sword cut through the air. “Let me do it Steve. Let me love you.”

“That’s not love Tony,” Steve said between heavy breaths, trying to put as much distance as he could between himself and the man. “That’s obsession.”

Tony laughed. “You would know best, wouldn’t you?”

Tony surged toward Steve again, bringing his sword down on Steve’s shield with a loud ‘clang’.

“Solely focusing on chasing after that fine ass after all this time, never looking back at the destruction you leave in your wake; that is obsession Steve. And the pathetic thing is, I let you do all this the while I cheer on from the sidelines.”

Tony swung the weapon down, skimming the side of the shield with a loud shriek.

“Well, not anymore,” swore Tony. “I will cut you into ribbons, and I will love you better than that one armed freak ever could!”

The sword sang as it cut through the air. Steve dove out of the way, but he was a second too late.

A small line of red bloomed across his shoulder, dying the blue fabric black.

Steve stared down at the blood in shock. A cold emptiness numbed any pain instantly. This was it then. He had failed. He had failed to save both Bucky and Tony. He was going to become one of _them_.

Accepting his fate, Steve closed his eyes, preparing for the worst.

But nothing happened. He felt no change in his body or his mind.

The smile on Tony’s face faltered. “It didn’t work.” With a flick of his wrist, he cut Steve’s cheek. His face flushed with rage. “Why didn’t it work?”

Steve didn’t wait for an explanation. He rammed his shield into Tony, knocking the man off balance. The sword slip down a little in Tony’s hand. Taking the opening, Steve tackled Tony to the glass floor. He straddled Tony’s hips; one hand holding down Tony’s sword arm, the other holding the blue and red shied at a threatening distance over Tony’s neck.

Tony looked up at Steve, eyes wide with shock. Then, Tony chuckled. “Do it,” he growled, this hairs on his Adam’s apple grazing the edge of Steve’s shield. “You know you want to. Tony Stark is always to blame. Tony Stark is the bad guy. Tony Stark is the one that will destroy us all. But Captain America,” Tony giggled. “Captain America is always right. Captain America always saves everyone. Captain America is always the hero.”

“Do it,” challenged the monster, tightening his grip on the sword, ready to strike at the slightest sign of weakness. “Kill the villain. Save the girl. Win the day.”

Steve swung his shield back high above his head to finish off the monster.

“Not today.”

He brought his shield down with clang, shattering the sword into a million pieces.


	8. Just one more

Hours after he shattered the sword, and all Steve could do was pace the hall of the Avenger’s medical wing as he waited, hoping and praying that his actions didn’t have any lasting consequences. Clint was in a chair, cool as can be, keeping him company. Sam was out in the hanger with Maria and the recovered SHIELD agents, taking care of all the recently freed and very confused civilians as best they could.

The door to Natasha’s room opened up and the nurse, recommended to them by Clint’s attorney friend, stepped out.

“How are they?” Steve asked as the nurse closed the door to Natasha’s room

The dark haired nurse let out a tired sigh. “Resting,” she said. “No real physical injuries besides a few cuts and bruises, but those should heal with time. I won’t be able to give you an evaluation of the mental damage, so you’ll have to bring in a different expert for that.”

Clint stretched his arms behind his head and cracked his back. “Not sure how many experts we have for dealing with mind control victims, but I’m sure Furry can find someone. If not, there’s a growing support group. And as a founding member, let me just say, our doors are always open.”

Steve tried not to roll his eyes at Clint’s sad attempt at humor. “Thank you for coming on such short notice, Claire.”

Claire shrugged. “Don’t take it personally. There were Slasher cases in Hell’s Kitchen too. And with so many health professionals under SHIELD quarantine, we have to be flexible about where we work.”

“Still, I can’t thank you enough.”

The door to Natasha’s room banged open as the redhead blundered out of her room.

“Natasha?”

She walked straight up to him, green eyes staring into his soul. She grabbed his ear, pulling him away from the group.

“Ow!” Steve yelped.

“You’re coming with me,” she said, yanking on the delicate cartilage.

“But Natasha-”

“No buts!”

“I guess I’ll just see the lady off then,” Clint shouted as Steve was dragged off. “Have fun!”

Natasha dragged Steve to a room and kicked in the door, again not bothering to knock, dragging an embarrassed Steve behind her.

As soon as Natasha released his ear Steve voiced his objection. “The hell was that about? What did you bring me in here for-” Seeing who was in the room, the words of objection fell silent from his lips.

He saw Tony, sitting upright in the hospital bed. The color and light of Tony’s skin that Steve was so familiar with had returned to his face. Steve could see the dark bags of fatigue under Tony’s tired eyes as he looked out the window to the empty forest.

Steve tried to speak, but his mouth was dry. He wanted to say something, but the awkward silence only gave him space to rehearse words in his head and realized how wooden and cliché it all sounded.

Tony was the one who ended up breaking the silence.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Tony whined. “It makes me feel like I’m still in your head.”

Natasha didn’t blink. “You two need to talk.”

Tony frowned. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“I was in your head too Stark. I saw your secrets. Don’t make me use it to blackmail you.”

Tony glared at Natasha. “You’re lying. You know the connection doesn’t work both ways.”

“You really want to put money on that?” she asked, crossing her arms with as a mischievous smile crossed her face. “I saw some pretty dark things in there.”

“No, you didn't.”

“Yes, I did.”

“Out,” Tony yelled with a pointed finger.

Natasha snorted, but did as she was told. Before she left the room, she offered Steve some advice. “Take it easy on him. He’s been through a lot and his feelings are a little raw around the edges.”

As the door closed behind her, Tony let out a tired sigh. “She should take it easy too,” Tony said, falling back into the elevated bed. “We’ve both been through a lot. Mind control  _ and _ magic, yuck. Never any fun any day of the week.”

“I think we all have been through a lot in the past few hours,” admitted Steve.

Tony hummed in reply, but didn’t bother to elaborate.

“How- how are you?” asked Steve, finally trusting his mouth to say something that sounded decent. It sounded a lot better than the ‘I missed you,’ ‘You look good,’ and the ‘Was she lying?’ that was rolling around in his brain.

Tony shrugged. “Decent enough. Asked the nurse if she would give me some morphine, but alas, no such luck.”

“Maybe that’s for the better,” Steve muttered as he took a seat by Tony’s bed.

“Maybe,” Tony admitted. “But having my mind all to myself again, it’s nice. A little weird, but nice. No voices screaming in my head, but the silence is a little strange. Like, any second I expect Saika to pop out of nowhere and say, ‘Surprise bitches. It ain’t over’.”

Steve’s body tensed at the mention of her name. Her honey like voice and hungry eyes as not something he would be forgetting any time soon. “Is she-”

“Dead as a doornail?” Tony offered. “Yeah. Pretty much. Her and all her children. As long as no one does anything stupid like smelt her back together, we should be fine.”

Steve let out a sigh of relief. “That’s good to know.”

Tony turned to face Steve, eyes running up and down his body as if searching for something. Steve stayed silent, trying his best not to squirm under the scrutiny.

“Okay, out with it,” demanded Tony. “I know you’re dying to ask me about something, so let’s get this done and over with so I can rest and overthink my life choices.”

Steve did have a burning question, but he hadn’t wanted to ask it in light of everything Tony had been through. Yet, despite his desire for restraint, the question was out before Steve could stop himself.

“Did you see him?”

Steve saw Tony’s internal walls immediately snap up at attention. “I don’t think that’s a question you want me to answer,” Tony replied. His voice was quiet as if he was struggling to keep calm.

“Because you don’t know or because you don’t want to?”

A hurt look crossed Tony’s face. A second later, it was gone and replaced with an emotionless façade. “I saw him,” Tony said, his voice cold. “It was just for a brief moment when her control slipped, but I saw him.”

Steve leaned forward on the edge of the plastic chair. “Did she-”

“No,” Tony said before Steve jumped to conclusions. “Just watched him. Unfortunate thing about Saika is that she tells the truth.”

Steve let out a sigh of relief. Bucky hadn't been subjected to another form of mind control. Thank god. The torture Saika could have inflicted on Bucky if she had possessed him, Steve didn't even want to think of the psychological damage. But this information only led him to another question. Something that had been bothering him during those uncertain hours as he paced the hall.

“How much?” asked Steve.

“Hum?”

“How much of what she made you say was true?”

Tony huffed. “Well,” he said, turning his head away to avoid looking Steve in the eyes. “I can’t give you a solid number-”

“Please,” begged Steve. “I need to know.”

Tony said nothing. His face looked as cold and hard as steel, but small tells Steve had become all too familiar with gave Tony away.

Steve watched Tony’s jaw clench and unclench in frustration. Inside Tony’s dark brown eyes, Steve saw a man begging back as he looked into the distant forest. In his eyes was a quiet, but desperate plea of, ‘Don’t make me Steve. For the love of god, please don’t make me say it.’

But Steve refused to back down. He need to know the truth, now more than ever. For the sake of his own sanity at the very least.

“Please,” he asked one last time.

Tony took a stuttered breath, as if bracing himself for a wave of bullets to hit him in the face. “Most of it,” Tony admitted, his voice breaking at the end of the short sentence. “All of it. It’s hard to remember everything when I could barely move my little finger.”

Steve felt as if the weight of the entire world crash down on his shoulders. It was true. It was all true. All this time, how could he have been so blind? “So, the reason you built Ultron-”

“That was true,” confessed Tony.

“The guilt you talked about?”

“Also true.”

“How I took advantage of you? How I’ve taken advantage of you all this time?”

Tony turned his head to look at Steve with glassy eyes. “I really don’t mind,” he said, meek voice barely louder than whisper.

“But that doesn’t change how you feel,” Steve said, hating the guilt as it swelled up into his heart. “That doesn’t change the fact that I’ve been abusing you for years. That doesn’t change the fact that we’ve hurt you, that I’ve hurt you.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Steve asked, begging for an answer. Tony was usually so vocal, so loud. Even when he was quiet, Steve thought he understood Tony’s vernacular of body language perfectly.

“If I said something, would that have changed anything?” asked Tony, a dismal look on his face.

Steve’s heart broke, ashamed of his actions. “Of course it would have. You’re our team member. You’re my best friend. I never wanted to take advantage of you.”

“But you did,” Tony said, his voice small, as if stating the fact would get him a beating.

“And you have no idea how angry I am at myself for that,” Steve said, more ready to beat himself to a pulp than lay a finger on Tony.

“You were right,” Steve admitted, not only to Tony, but to himself too. “I lost myself trying to find Bucky. I lost myself trying to hold onto the past. But sometimes, I feel so lost in the future. Even with you, even with the other Avengers, sometimes I just take a moment and look at my life and think ‘this will never be home’. But when I heard Bucky was alive and well I just- couldn’t not look for him. I couldn’t leave him alone. I had to have him back, no matter what.

“And in doing that I lost you. I never wanted that Tony. I swear, I never wanted that come between us. Being with you, in the workshop, that’s as close to home as I’ve felt in a long time. But when Bucky came back into the picture, I just- I couldn’t-”

“We can still find him,” offered Tony, his Adam’s apple trembled a little. “Together, if you want. I know how much he means to you, and I know how much you’ve given up to find him. I can- I’ll do my best to remember where I last saw him.”

“No,” said Steve with a shake of his head. “I saw him for a few minutes during this whole mess. He’s okay, and I’m going to need to trust that he’ll come back when he’s ready. And while I can’t promise not to worry about him, I will try to be better about protecting what I have in front of me. That means thinking about how my actions affect everyone. That includes you too Tony.”

Tony stared at him, slack jawed. Then he began to tear up. “I don’t really think that’s a good idea,” he rasped.

“Why not?”

“Hope,” Tony’s voice cracked between labored breaths. “You’re giving me hope.”

“Is that bad?”

Tony nodded. “It caused me break. I used my love for you to hold Saika back, and I held onto hope to give me the strength to fight her. You’re the reason I held out for so long and you’re the reason my will broke.” A few tears rolled down Tony’s face as he forced himself to speak his mind. “So don’t promise me kindness and hope when you have no plans of following through.”

“Tony, I didn’t-”

Tony interrupted him. “Saika did more than mess with my head,” he said, the words pouring out of his mouth in a waterfall of confession. “She ripped my heart and soul open. She exposed me in a way that if you give me the slightest bit of hope, I’ll hoard it like a dragon and destroy you.

“Saika’s not the only selfish monster,” Tony admitted. “Remember, I said most of what she said was true.”

Suddenly, the possessive words from the night before began to make sense. “Then you-”

Tony nodded, as if he was admitting a terrible sin to a priest. “I don’t want to brand you, and I don’t want to chain you up or break your will. But I do want you. I want you for my own, all to myself. I want you just as much as she wanted you, and it terrifies me just how alike we are.

“You talk about destroying monsters, I am the monster that will slowly poison and eventually kill you,” he said, barely holding back tears. “I almost did that with Pepper. After we broke up, I swore to never let that happen anyone ever again. Least of all you, Steve. I don’t want that to ever happen to you.”

Steve sucked in a breath. A voice in the back of his head told him to slow down and think about the consequences. They had been fighting not hours before. Shouldn’t Steve give them time and space before he makes up his mind?

Yet the stubbornness in him shut up those objections real fast. Steve had made a choice. And come hell or high water, he was going to follow through with that choice no matter what. Not just for himself, but for the love of his life. For Tony.

“Shouldn’t I decide that for myself?” he asked, his fingers gingerly covering Tony’s hand. He moved slow, keeping his touch light enough that Tony could pull away at any moment. “Maybe I’m weird and like your poison. Maybe I’ve grown immune to it from all the times we’ve worked together in combat and from the hours I spend keeping you company in your lab. Maybe I’ve become addicted to it so bad that it scares me how much I want more.”

“Steve,” Tony’s voice was ragged and wracked with desperation. “Don’t do this to yourself. I’ve done horrible things.”

“Me too.”

“I killed hundreds of people.”

“I’m not much better. I was in a war, after all,” Steve said, squeezing Tony’s hand as a gentle reminder.

Tony showed no sign of pulling out of the grip. Instead, he squeezed back, as if letting go would break the spell they both were under. “I don’t want you to do this out of pity, Steve. I don’t want you to wake up one morning and regret all this.”

“I’m not doing this out of pity, and I don’t think I’ll ever regret this,” Steve assured him, slowly moving out the chair, over the bed, and into Tony’s space. “I’ll tell you every day that I don’t if it makes you feel better.”

A breath caught in Tony’s throat. He flinched back from Steve’s approach, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’ve been holding myself back for so long,” Tony whispered as Steve moved closer to his lips. “I’m not sure if I’ll be able to take it if you leave me.”

Steve smiled, gently cupping Tony’s cheek with one hand. “Then we better hold each other tight because I have no intention of letting you go.”

With that, he pressed a tender kiss into Tony’s trembling lips.

At first, Tony froze under the contact. He didn’t move. He didn’t breathe, but he didn’t push Steve away or pull him close. Steve was about to pull back and apologize for overstepping his boundaries when Tony finally relaxed into Steve’s kiss. The tension left his body, and Tony melted into Steve’s arms, his muscles going loose until he was like putty.

Tony’s hands moved up to the collar of Steve’s uniform, fingers tangling in what little loose fabric they could find. Slowly, he responded to the kiss. There was no tongue, but his lips pulled at Steve’s, desperate for more heat, more contact, more Steve.

Needing to breathe, Steve pulled back with a quiet gasp. Tony whined at the loss of contact and chased after more. With a gentle kiss to Tony’s forehead, Steve pushed him back down into the sheets of the hospital cot, meeting with little resistance.

Steve looked down at the man, admiring his handiwork. Tony’s lips were wet and parted, more than ready for another kiss. His normally dark cheeks were flushed pink and slowly turning red with embarrassment. His pupils were black and blown wide open hiding the brown iris, so unlike the red eyes that had stared into Steve’s soul the night before.

The only thing Steve could see in those beautiful dark brown eyes was the heart and devotion of the man he had grown to know and care for over the past few years. There was a little selfish spark in the corner of Tony’s eyes, but it was nothing compared to the animalistic obsession that had blinded Tony’s sight while under the influence of the cursed sword. To his relief, he saw no sign of the Saika. All Steve could see in Tony’s eyes was the caring and selfless soul Steve had fallen head over heels in love with.

“I love you Tony,” Steve whispered into Tony’s ear, sending a shiver down the man’s spine. “I love you.”

“Steve,” Tony whined. His hips hitched up, desperate for more contact, but the tight, white sheets of the bed held him down. Tony’s arms moved away from the collar they were still tangled in to wrap around Steve’s neck, taking the super soldier in a hold neither wished to break. “Steve!”

“Say it,” Steve murmured into the shell of Tony’s ear before lovingly biting the plush earlobe. Tony gasped, pushing his hips as high as they could go, still inches away from Steve’s eager cock as it twitched in anticipation underneath the blue Kevlar. “Say it so I hear your words instead of hers. Say it so I know that you want it just as much as I do.”

“I- I can’t,” Tony gasped as Steve pressed a hand down on his hips, pinning him to the bed. “What if you change your mind? What if I hurt you? What if you end up hating me? I won’t do it, Steve. I can’t do that to you.”

“It’s okay,” Steve reassured him. He traced the faint outline of Tony’s hardening cock with the tips of his fingers until he had Tony wriggling and gasping with need underneath him. “I’m here to catch you if you fall. Just like all those times you were there to catch me.”

“But-”

“Trust me, Tony. I’ll always be there to save you. After all, Captain America always saves the handsome prince,” Steve said with a wink, placing a line of kisses along Tony’s goatee.

Tony groaned. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back onto the pillow. “Don’t say that corny line, Steve. I’m trying to forget I said something as stupid as that.”

“I happen to like that line,” Steve said with a chuckle. He nibbled at a particularly sensitive part of Tony’s neck and was rewarded with a surprised gasp of arousal.

“Just one more time,” Steve begged as he pressed kisses into Tony’s skin. “Say it for me, please? Indulge my selfishness and I’ll give you everything I can give.”

Tony gave him an annoyed glare, but it didn’t last for long. With a heavy sigh, Tony surrendered. He pulled Steve’s head close so their foreheads were touching. With quiet confidence, Tony kisses Steve and buried four important words between their lips.

“I love you, Steve,” Tony whispered as the words burrowed their way into Steve’s heart. “I love you more than you will ever know.”

Steve smiled. “After the last few days, I think I have an idea as to how much.” He pulled away just enough to get a better look at Tony’s face, now tomato red with embarrassment.

“You better not regret this when the super spy twins inevitably walk in on us,” Tony grumbled. He pulled Steve’s hand down to his crotch so he could feel Tony’s still eager cock standing tall in anticipation. “I intend to make you finish what you started.”

Steve hummed with satisfaction. “Don’t think I will,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to Tony’s lips. “Don’t think I will.”


End file.
